Does a Realistic Dildo Actually Feel Like a Real Penis?

We’ve all seen claims and promises that certain dildos feel like “the real thing”. The question is, do they really? I’ve been a professional sex toy tester for over a decade now — stay tuned for my answer!

What Does “Realistic” Mean, In Terms of Dildos?

Obviously, the dildos that we buy at sex toy stores are not made of human flesh. That would be highly problematic! So, what makes a dildo realistic?

First, sex toys have come a long way, so to speak, over the last decade. (Pandemic lockdowns had a lot to do with this.) They have entered the mainstream and are actually a fairly high-growth industry; in fact, the sex toy market is projected to grow more quickly than other consumer electronics through 2034. This means that we have real artists helping to create sex toys, and even at the midrange of the market, there are plenty of dildos that look realistic with sculpted heads, veins, and other anatomical details.

But, as with most aspects of sexuality, looks are not enough, especially since we don’t have eyes in our vulvas. When we’re looking for a “realistic” dildo, we want one that feels real, and that’s a much bigger ask.

The most real-feeling dildos are made from multiple layers of premium silicone, and they are usually labeled as “ultra-realistic” or “dual density.” A dual-density dildo has a firm, but not rigid, inner core and an outer layer of very soft silicone that is textured to feel like skin. Vixskin is one dildo manufacturer that does this right, in our opinion (You can see their Johnny in the image above).

And RealCock dildos — created by the folks behind RealDoll, so you know that they know what they’re doing — go even farther with triple-density dildos crafted from premium, platinum-cured silicone. Thanks to Sil-Slide technology, the “skin” layer does actually glide around the shaft and in your hands, just like the real thing. They even have freely floating testicles!

How To Make The Experience More Realistic

The Heat Factor

However, no matter how good it looks and feels, a dildo will be at room temperature when you take it out of the drawer, and that is not lifelike. But! There are ways to work with this. Warming lube is a great option to get your toy feeling real, or if you have extra-sensitive skin, you can always just run it under hot water (most dildos are waterproof, but check your user manual or the manufacturer’s website to be sure).

Movement and Motion

Those of us who like to have sex with people with penises probably agree that the way they move is one of the best things about them; obviously, a dildo can’t do this on its own (although thrusting toys do exist). However, you may be able to attach your lifelike dildo to a thrusting sex machine or create a hands-free setup. This won’t be exactly the same as the real thing, but it’s pretty darn nice. Look for realistic dildos with Vac-U-Lock attachments for the most compatibility.

Our reader Nina from New Mexico told me, “I attached mine to a sex machine and honestly it feels closer to the real deal than I ever thought. Sure, it’s not perfect, but it’s amazing how real it feels.”

Looks Matter

Most of us who want realistic, lifelike dildos really like the way that penises look. (For those who aren’t as fond of the aesthetics, there are plenty of great dildos and other sex toys that do not strive for anatomical accuracy.) The best of the realistic dildos put a lot of effort into the details, such as “skin” texture, curves, veins, and subtle color variations. If seeing what looks like a real penis gets you going, then you will enjoy what these artisans can create. The Vixskin Mustang above is a great example of shading and texture.

Size Matters Too

Size matters, but this does not necessarily mean that bigger is better! If we’re going to get up close and personal with a dildo, we want one that feels good to our body. Most manufacturers of realistic dildos produce models that are within the range of human anatomy, though they do tend towards the larger end of the range.

A recent study showed that the best-selling dildos are in the range of 12.7 cm in circumference, which is slightly larger than the average human erection. For size queens who aren’t impressed by “slightly larger than average,” the Big Daddy XXXL at Mr. Hankey’s Toys comes in with 12.5” circumference and 14.5” insertable length.

Keeping it Real (Literally): Care and Maintenance

It takes a lot of craftsmanship to create a truly lifelike dildo, and this means that it needs to be cared for to keep it at its peak. Sex toys, especially sex toys that are used internally, should be thoroughly cleaned after each use. They will collect leftover lube, skin cells, and lint, and these do not improve with time. Would you want to interact with a real-life penis that was not washed between uses?

Cleaning and caring for your dildo helps preserve the texture of the silicone as well as its general health and welfare. Check your user manual or the manufacturer’s website for specifics, but you can clean most dildos with warm water and gentle soap or a specialized sex toy cleaner. Let it air-dry on a towel and then store it properly. A light dusting of corn starch or sex toy renewal powder is welcome as well.

And Safety?

Realistic dildos are very safe as long as they are made from medical-grade silicone or other body-safe materials, and they are cleaned regularly and kept in good condition (scratches and dents can harbor bacteria and other unpleasantness. “Jelly” dildos are porous and therefore can’t be thoroughly cleaned.

Final Thoughts

Sex toys have come a long way, baby. These days, they are created with the input of working artists and crafted from premium materials. These upgrades mean that “realistic” dildos do indeed look very realistic, and a few tweaks help them feel real as well. Of course sex with a person with a penis is very different from masturbating with a lifelike dildo, and we’re not going to claim otherwise, but the truth is that realistic dildos can look and feel very much like an erect penis.

Happy vibing!

Sandra

Sandra studied nursing and sexual health and is named one of the world’s top 50 sexologists. She founded My Sex Toy Guide in 2016, where she and a team of experts write about relationships, LGBTQ topics, and other sexuality issues. She has been featured in Men’s Health, Wedding Wire, InsideHook, ThriveGlobal, and more.
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