How Sex Toys Help Seniors: Golden Years, Golden Pleasures!

I got a few years on me now
But there was a time, back in my prime
When I could really lay it down
If you need some love tonight
Then I might have just enough
I ain’t as good as I once was, but I’m as good once
As I ever was.

 — Toby Keith

If you’ve made your way to this part of our little home on the Internet, we’re hoping that you’re looking for ways to stay happy, healthy, and sexually active into retirement age and beyond. And let’s be honest — this is a great season of life to explore sexuality. We don’t have to worry about pregnancy, we don’t have to get kids to the bus stop in the morning, and we may even have the disposable income to indulge in a little toy collecting. Read on and let’s talk about how to make the most of sex as a senior.

Healthy Sexuality for Seniors

The New England Journal of Medicine surveyed older adults about sexual activity and published results showing that 73% of respondents between ages 57 and 64, 53% of respondents between ages 65 and 74, and 26% of respondents between ages 75 and 84 were sexually active. NEJM also found that about half of the respondents reported some physical impediments to their sex lives, such as erectile uncertainty or a lack of lubrication.

We firmly believe that sex toys are for every body of every age, gender, relationship status, or situation in life. We also believe that sex toys are exactly what the doctor ordered when the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

Breaking Down Barriers, Increasing Intimacy

The oldest baby boomers are turning 80 in 2026. Boomers grew up in the era of “free love,” but honest talk and real education about sexuality was not something that everyone had access to. Folks who were raised with shame and guilt around sexuality may find it difficult to be open to new experiences, and successfully navigating the physical challenges that come with aging requires the kind of openness and experimentation that may feel “new.”

This includes incorporating sex toys into our solo and partnered sex lives. Dr. Lori Brotto, a psychologist and professor at the University of British Columbia, agrees that “There is no outer limit to the age at which you’re capable of learning and discovering. I’ve had tears in my office from women saying, ‘My gosh, why didn’t I learn this 50 years ago?’”

Dildos can target the G-spot and the A-spot in people with vulvas, which increases natural lubrication, and they can also penetrate when penises can’t. Vibrators can deliver intense clitoral stimulation to help make up for a loss of sensation. And prostate massagers can help people with prostates achieve orgasm even when erections are unreliable.

“I was hesitant at first,” admits Judy, who is one of our long-time readers in her 60s. “The idea of using a wand vibrator felt strange because it wasn’t something I grew up with. But once I tried it, I realized it was about enhancing what I already had—not replacing it. Now it’s just part of my life.”

Why Seniors Benefit From Sex Toys

Besides the obvious, of course! Sex, and specifically sex with sex toys, can be part of physical and mental wellness for people of all ages, and especially older people. Self-care has no upper age limit, and sex toys can:

• Improves Circulation and Blood Flow: Vibrating sex toys can increase blood flow in the genital area, and this is good for sexual health. In fact, vibrators (powered by steam or coal!) were first developed in the late nineteenth century to address “hysteria” in women and erectile dysfunction in men. There is quite a bit of quackery around vintage vibrators, but there is also some truth in that the vibrations do increase blood flow and therefore erectile capacity.
• Enhanced Lubrication: Increased blood flow will also increase natural lubrication in people with vulvas, and stimulation of the G-spot and the A-spot can produce lubrication from the paraurethral glands. Vaginal dryness is a common issue for older women, but lubricants and specific toys can help manage this, making intercourse more comfortable and enjoyable.
• Stress Relief and Better Sleep: Many seniors struggle with sleep, and some with stress management. Orgasms, either solo or partnered, release endorphins, which are nature’s painkillers (similar in action to opiates!) and have been proven to improve mood and well-being.
• Boosted Self-Esteem: A fulfilling sex life, again either solo or partnered, makes us feel better about ourselves and keeps us vibrant.
• Emotional Wellness: Regular sex can help us feel less lonely. Whether we’re connecting with ourselves or with a partner, the intimacy and connection benefit mental health.

Our Sex Toy Tips for Seniors

If you are new to sex toy shopping, you might feel a little intimidated or even a little put off. That’s okay! Not everyone has to enthusiastically embrace The Great American Challenge or Sydney’s Rebel Maw right out of the gate. There are plenty of sex toys that look like basic massagers or even pretty flowers, with no silicone-sculpted anatomical features.

We recommend starting simple. You don’t have to jump straight into the most complicated devices. A basic clit vibrator or a well-designed lubricant is a great starting point. It’s about finding what works for you and feels good.

We also stress the importance of communication. If you’re in a relationship, talk to your partner about your desires and any concerns you may have. It’s a journey you can do together and it can actually bring you closer.

You can also research sex toys here and on adult retailers’ websites. Some toys will be friendlier to seniors, with ergonomic designs and skin-friendly materials. Sex toys are no longer hush-hush in plain brown wrappers; they are part of mainstream culture (starting with Sex And The City and solidified during pandemic lockdowns), which means that they are created by “real” engineers, product designers, and artisans and sold by “real” retailers with customer service and marketing departments.

We’re not getting older; we’re getting better. Sometimes it may not feel that way, but we are lucky to live in a time where we can easily access aids to help us stay healthy and keep intimacy alive. If you’re ready to explore, we’ve got recommendations for sex toys for seniors.

Happy vibing!

Tim

Tim Larson is the CEO and co-founder of My Sex Toy Guide. A specialist in penis pleasure products, having tested over a hundred Fleshlights and Onaholes, he is also the author of the best-selling book “How to Become a Sex Toy Tester”. He has been featured in Vice.com, among other things.
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