How to Do Dry Humping: The Art of Friction-Based Fun

Hi, I am Rachel Sommer, Ph.D., a sexologist with years of experience in sex therapy and wellness education. On top of that, I have been a professional sex toy tester since 2016 and reviewed everything from sex machines to grinding toys.

Today, we are talking dry humping. You know those moments when you are fully clothed, tangled up with your partner, and the heat between you feels like it could set the world on fire. Yes, those moments. The magic of dry humping. And let’s be real. Those moments can be as satisfying as the main event.

What Is Dry Humping?

Dry humping is essentially intimate friction where you wear at least some clothing. It’s a good way to build arousal and explore body-to-body contact without direct penetration. Sometimes that tease can be even more powerful than immediate gratification.

People have been dry humping forever. Some may even remember the “grinding phase” from school dances. Historically many cultures have used clothed intimacy as a form of courtship or to explore their sexuality within social or religious boundaries. For example, during the Victorian era, couples were restricted from full intimacy before marriage, which could mean that people were engaging in activities similar to dry humping.

Why Is Dry Humping So Hot?

Let’s give you another example. You know those moments when you are fully clothed, wrapped around your partner, and that heat feels like it could burn a hole through your jeans? Yes, that’s the magic of dry humping. It’s about tension. The anticipation. And the way our bodies move together in an almost primal way.

One of our readers, Laura from Boston, wrote me this story in an email: “I always thought dry humping was more for teasing. But my boyfriend and I added breath play and dirty talk while doing the deed. The result? Absolute fireworks! It felt like my body was on fire and I was literally shaking afterwards.”

And yes, there’s also a psychological component to all this. You see, the slight restriction of clothing can make every moment feel that much more tantalizing. On top of that, it forces both partners to be more in tune with the rhythm, the pressure, and the way their bodies communicate.

How To Do It Right

Alright, with the basics out of the way, let’s get down to business. My research team and I have put together a guide with everything you need to know to get started and get the most out of the experience. Let’s start with the buildup phase:

1. Start Slow and Build Up

You should view dry humping as a dance and not as a race. Therefore, I recommend starting with gentle and teasing movements and letting the tension build naturally. If you grind too fast things can turn into awkward discomfort quickly. (A good analogy is the simmer before the full boil).

2. Clothing Matters

Denim Jeans are the classic. Full stop. But did you know there are other options? That’s right! You can use softer fabrics (leggings, boxers, or thin pajamas), which allow for better movement and sensation. Keep on experimenting to find out what feels best for you and your partner. Mina from Chicago gave me this practical tip in an email: “Layering different textures between us made everything more intense. Silk against denim. Lace against cotton. Those contrasts added a whole new sensory element.” Yummy!

3. Positioning is Key

It’s more than just straddling and grinding because different positions offer different sensations. For example, you can try sitting in each other’s laps, lying side by side (i.e., spooning), or even face-to-face. Move around to see what works. Some positions allow for deeper pressure while others focus on softer and teasing movements. Play around!

4. Communication Makes It Better

Even if you are fully caught up in the moment, it’s a good idea to whisper something sexy in your partner’s ear, like “that feels amazing” or “move just like that”. Those small words can take things to a whole new level as both verbal and non-verbal cues help refine the experience in real time. On top of that, ensure that everything is done consensually and without pressure. Consent is sexy!

5. Pressure Control

I learned this the hard way: not all friction is good friction. What do I mean by that? Well, it means that finding the right pressure level is key. Too little and it’s not effective. Too much and it’s just uncomfortable. So please spend some time to find a good rhythm that makes both of you squirm (in a good way). Adjust when something doesn’t work.

6. Use Your Hands

I like to say that dry humping is a full-body experience. That means running your hands over each other’s bodies, grab, pull closer, or tease. The more senses you engage, the better. My friend Jake from San Francisco said, “Using a vibrating toy between our bodies added an entirely new dimension to grinding. The mix of pressure, friction, and vibration was unreal.”

7. Common Mistakes to Avoid

Let’s also address some no-nos that you should avoid:

• Grinding too hard too soon is a bad idea. Start slow and sensual before ramping up.
• Wearing rough or restrictive clothing. Friction is key but avoid fabrics that cause irritation or discomfort.
• Ignoring body language. Pay attention to each other’s reactions and adjust accordingly.
• Not including other forms of intimacy. Kissing, whispering, and eye contact can deepen the connection.

8. Health and Safety Considerations

Dry humping is typically a lower-risk activity, but chafing can be an issue sometimes. So please check in with your partner throughout the experience and make sure you wear comfortable clothing. You could even use a thin layer of lubrication on the clothing for more glide. It’s also important to pay attention to hygiene as sweaty sessions can lead to irritation. So a quick shower afterwards keeps everything fresh.

9. Orgasm is a Possibility

Yes! It’s absolutely possible to climax from this sexual activity. It might require some movements, some more tension, and the right positioning, but plenty of people pull this off. Some people even find it more satisfying because of the slow and torturous build-up.

Conclusions

That’s it. As you have seen, dry humping is not just for teenagers or for people who want to avoid penetration. It’s a great way to be intimate with your partner, especially if you are seeking a way to spice things up in the bedroom. But it’s important to stay in tune with your partner, experiment, and most importantly, enjoy the friction!

Now I want to hear from you, dear readers. What’s the most surprising thing you’ve discovered about dry humping? Let’s chat in the comments!

Rachel

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