How to Masturbate Without a Vibrator? A Sexologist Answers!

They say I better get a chaperone
Because I can’t stop messin’ with the danger zone
I won’t worry, and I won’t fret
There ain’t no law against it yet

She bop, he bop, we bop
I bop, you bop, they bop

 — Cyndi Lauper

We are huge fans of vibrators here at My Sex Toy Guide, which may not really be a big surprise. But sometimes we want something a little different, or sometimes we don’t have easy access to our sex toy tool bag. Our Ph.D. sexologist Rachel Sommer is going to walk us through some of the best ways to masturbate without a vibrator, as well as a few things that we should never do even in the heat of the moment. Read on to learn what to do if we are caught unprepared!

1. Washing Machine

If you’re looking for some good clean fun, the washing machine can come through for you in a pinch. However, we do not recommend trying this at a public laundromat.

Pro tip: Washing machines with front-loading doors work better for this purpose. Top-loaders tend to have less intense spin cycles, which means less intense stimulation for you.

Make sure that your washer is clean before you get started — detergent, fabric softener, and bleach are not kind to sensitive skin. It’s best to try this with an empty machine, since your body weight plus loads of actual laundry can throw the washer off balance.

Drape a thick, clean, soft towel over the front of the machine to further protect your lady bits. Stand facing the washer. Spread your legs, straddle the washer with your legs on either side of the front door, and lean up against the machine with your mound pressing against the front.

Turn the washer on to a spin cycle. Adjust your stance so that everything is hitting right where it needs to be, and ride that wave as far as you can.

Note that this method will not necessarily work for everyone. Washers are different heights and so are people, so it’s quite possible that the vibrations won’t be focused where they need to be. We also don’t recommend this for anyone who doesn’t feel steady on their feet.

2. Fingers

Our hands are Mother Nature’s OG sex toys. People have been using their hands to masturbate for as long as people have had hands — and actually, there is evidence that pre-human primates discovered what their hands were good for 40 million years ago.

This method of masturbation is a classic for a reason. Your fingers are more responsive than a vibrator, so it’s a great way to explore what works best for you. Truly solo play like this can also feel very intimate. Additionally, while we all love our vibrators, it can be a good thing to go old-school every now and then.

Practice a little self-care before your self-care; make sure that your hands are clean and your nails are trimmed and filed. Get your favorite lube ready. Water-based lubricants are always a great choice, but since you won’t have to worry about interactions with latex or silicone sex toys, you can also experiment with body-safe oils. Oils like coconut are slicker and slipperier than water-based lubes, and they can be a nice little luxury.

Take some time to explore your entire beautiful body with your hands. Focus on the areas that feel good, even if they are not the typical erogenous zones. You can also try different kinds of stimulation, like stroking, teasing, touching, and kneading.

When we get to the business center, one technique that we recommend is the “V Stroke.” Make a V with your index and middle fingers, and position them on either side of your clitoris. Rub your whole hand up and down, experimenting with different speeds and pressures. If you have a partner, this is something that you can show them!

You can also try rubbing your clit as usual, but with your non-dominant hand. This produces slightly different sensations, but is close enough to your usual routine that you will likely find it very easy to reach orgasm.

If you want to insert a finger or two to stimulate your G-spot or A-spot, don’t forget to add additional lube before going inside. Lube is your friend, especially if you are looking to do some spelunking.

3. Pillow (Faux F*ck)

If you crave the pressure and penetration of partnered sex, you can use a nice firm pillow (these are our favorites) to recreate some of these sensations. You will want a fairly firm pillow with a fresh clean pillowcase, and we recommend a waterproof pillow protector underneath the case.

Masturbating this way allows you to control the depth, angle, and pace of penetration. Even receiving partners who do not usually orgasm from penetration alone (and that is a lot of us!) can sometimes orgasm this way.

Place your pillow on a firm, flat surface such as your bed or a couch. Hold one hand against your vagina with at least one finger inside yourself; you can use your other hand to stimulate your clitoris if you want. Squat or kneel over the pillow, and use your vagina hand to thrust or press against the pillow. Take your time and experiment until you find what works best for you!

4. Showerhead or Faucet

Some research suggests that over 50% of people with vulvas experienced their first orgasm in the shower or bath, so we may not be telling you anything that you don’t already know! Still, running water is a great way to orgasm without using a vibrator. It’s even possible to achieve a hands-free orgasm this way.

In this case, safe sex means making sure that you have a non-slip surface in your shower or tub. Do not use soap, shampoo, or conditioner as those can increase the risk of slipping and falling. Warm water feels great, but ensure that it is not too hot so you don’t burn or dry out your sensitive bits.

A detachable shower head is the best way to masturbate using water pressure. If you don’t already own a detachable shower head, you can check out our review of the Womanizer Wave. This is a sex toy that you don’t have to worry about hiding away, because its sleek design is so subtle that no one will know your little secret.

Start by detaching the shower head or positioning yourself in the tub so that the water will hit where you want it. For people with vulvas, the clitoral hood is a good target, and for people with penises, the frenulum could be your hot spot. Adjust the water temperature and pressure. If your detachable shower head has different settings, pick the one that feels best to you. And GO!

5. Vibrating Cellphones

It feels like some people never put down their phones! If you are one of them, we can give you one more reason to keep your phone on your person at all times. You can use your cell phone’s vibration feature to masturbate if you’re feeling the need.

Phones are filthy. We’re sorry, but it’s true. Your phone is ten times dirtier than a toilet seat, so we are going to start this little adventure by thoroughly wiping down the phone with a disinfectant wipe. Be sure to let it dry completely, because the chemicals won’t be good for your sensitive areas. Ensure that your phone is fully charged;  just like when you are masturbating with a vibrator, you don’t want it to give out at the most crucial moment! Turn your phone to silent, do not disturb, or airplane mode to prevent any interruptions.

Take some time to explore all the vibration patterns and ringtones in your phone’s menu. Decide which one inspires you the most. If you are feeling particularly creative, you can create a custom ringtone that combines your favorite song with your favorite pattern.

Drape a thin, soft cloth over the phone so that it is between your phone and your skin. A clean handkerchief or bandana works very well here. Position your phone over your clitoral hood or labia majora. You may need to experiment a little to make sure that the strongest vibrations are where they need to be. Now let your phone do its thing and you do yours!

6. Personal Massager

These days, you can find vibrators and other sex toys on the shelves at Walmart and Target (they are usually in the personal hygiene aisle)! But if you can’t find or don’t want to shop for a sex toy, a personal massager will get the job done.

And a little history here. The iconic Magic Wand was first introduced by Hitachi as a personal massager in 1968. With the help of pioneering sex educator Betty Dodson, people soon discovered the other uses of this wand. Eventually, Hitachi decided that they did not want to be known as a sex toy manufacturer, even though “the people we hire know what it’s for without our having to say it,” and the Magic Wand was rebranded under the Vibratex name and logo.

Whether it’s a Magic Wand or another personal massager, this is a great alternative to a vibrator when you need one. A massager is designed to deliver intense, targeted stimulation — sounds familiar, no? Most massagers also offer a menu of different patterns, speeds, and intensities, which should also feel pretty familiar to most vibrator users. Some personal massagers even come with interesting little attachments.

We recommend using a good-quality water-based lube here, and just as you would with a vibrator, clean and charge your massager before storing it away.

More About Masturbation

There is nothing more personal than masturbation! We have provided some information and suggestions here, but as long as you stay safe (more on that in a minute), there’s no wrong way to masturbate. Feel free to take what you want from this article, leave the rest, and add your own touches!

Don’t forget the foreplay. You are making love to yourself, so just like you (hopefully) would with partnered sex, take time to get comfortable and get in the mood. Put on your favorite music, refill your water bottle, enjoy an adult beverage — whatever works for you!

Use plenty of good-quality lube. Water-based lubricants are safest for use with sex toys and certain kinds of partnered sex, but if it’s going to be you and your two hands, you can experiment with body-safe oils or other types of lube.

There’s comfort in the familiar and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, but this is a great time to try something new. Change up your position, focus on areas of your body that don’t always get as much love, or even break out a mirror so that you can really see what’s what.

Most of us approach masturbation in a pretty goal-oriented way. We’re not going to tell you NOT to enjoy a good orgasm, but it’s okay to have a self-love session that isn’t solely focused on the orgasm. You can just lie back (or sit up, or whatever position you prefer) and enjoy the sensations.

Safety First!

There are definitely times when the heat of the moment inspires unwise decisions (it’s not just us, right?), but some decisions are even more unwise than others. We don’t want to see anyone risking an expensive and potentially embarrassing trip to the Emergency Department, so let’s lay out a few masturbation mistakes that you should never make.

Keep in mind that this is not an exhaustive list, so if you’re ever questioning if something is unsafe to use as a masturbation aid, you should probably assume the worst and go with one of the options above.

• Vacuum Cleaners: Don’t use a vacuum cleaner on your genitals (or, really, any other part of your body). The suction from even the wimpiest vacuum cleaner is many times more powerful than a Rose toy, and it can cause serious injury to delicate tissues. Just don’t do this.
• Cucumbers and Other Foods: Using a cucumber as a dildo has been a dirty-joke trope for decades, centuries, millennia (remember, masturbation is not a new invention), but it should stay a joke. Vegetables can break inside the vagina, which could lead to infection or injury.
• Candles: Candles pose many of the same risks as cucumbers. Additionally, many candles are made with chemical fragrances and colors, which could cause an unpleasant reaction. Even if your candle has a tempting shape, it’s better to use it to set the mood.
• Electric Toothbrush: You may wonder whether your vibrating toothbrush would work lower down, and we are here to tell you that it would be a very bad idea. The bristles are likely to irritate or even injure sensitive tissue, and bacteria on the toothbrush present a risk of infection.
• Anything Without a Flared Base (for anal play): Never put anything up your butt unless it has a flared or wide base. This holds true even if it’s a sex toy; not all sex toys are safe for anal play. An orgasm can create suction, and the toy or other object can get sucked in past the point where you can retrieve it with your own fingers. This means the ER trip that we mentioned above.

Happy vibing!

Rachel

Rachel is a clinical sexologist with a focus on LGBTQ+ and BIPOC issues. Originally from Texas, she loves sushi, white wine, and spending time with her partner Jessica. She has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Yahoo.com, Women’s Health, Healthline, Glamour, and MindBodyGreen.
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