Oh Joy Sex Toy – PMDD, Why Me by Adam Green

Adam Green draws with a soft, cartoon-y style with a palette of mostly pinks, purples, and blues.

Adam is a pastel marshmallow-y anthro bovine that’s soft like a Moomin, with dreadlocks and a big hoodie. He walks down a medical corridor, following a sign that directs to the gynecological hall. His head and the tip of his tail poof is on fire, crackling and hissing. He looks miserable.

Narration: In my early 20’s I went to see if my gynecologist had an answer for my monthly migraines.

He slumps in the doctor’s chair, still on fire, looking defeated and exhausted.

Narration: When she asked if anything else was bothering me about my cycle, I realized I had tons more to say.

“Gosh.” Adam says through his fatigue. “It sounds like a lot now that I say it out loud.”

“Has anyone ever spoken to you about PMDD, Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder?” Asks Doctor Seal, a fluffy pastel anthropomorphic harbor seal with big flippers and crocs.

“No?” Replies Adam, as a cup of pens begins to vibrate on the doctor’s table, while a low “Rummmmble~~~” builds.

Just as he asks, “Is that bad?”, a giant anthropomorphic PMDD sign bursts through the wall like the Kool-Aid Man was known to do in 90s commercials.

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Narration: Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder, or PMDD. There’s no current cure, the causes are murky, and of course it’s underreported. Over time, common PMS experiences increase in their length and intensity until they’re derailing most of your month.

A montage of illustrated symptoms spills across the page. Adam acts out each title, which includes: Migraine, Brain Fog, Fatigue, Dizziness, Impulsivity, Aches & Cramps, Feelings of Persecution, Intense Mood Shifts, Low Self-Esteem, Anxiety, Digestion Changes, and Anhedonia.

Narration: Experience vary, the defining factor is it becomes overwhelming. For most people, things come to a head in their mid to late 20’s.

“The clinical terms is ‘significant distress.'” Doctor Seal explains, gesturing with a decorative pen from her desk.

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Narration: “Significant distress.” That was the first time I let myself admit that I was genuinely struggling.

“I mean, I guess it’s been pretty bad.” Admits Adam as the fire fully engulfs him.

“But how was I supposed to know something was wrong?” Adam asks, now in an imaginary scene where he is not on fire, but is being pulled back and forth between two anthropomorphic circle characters that are strong reminiscent of the Mr. Men children’s books from the 1970s. “Everyone told me having a bad time was normal!”

“All women are strong enough to get through this burden!” Encourages a blue circle wearing two sunflowers on its head as it pulls Adam towards them. It is labeled “Well-Meaning Authority Figures”

“PMS?! HA HA! What a joke!” Cruelly mocks a green circle sporting a little party hat and tutu. “Try some REAL problems!” This one is labeled, “Huge Jerks”

Narration: For years, as things kept getting harder, I was convinced I just needed to toughen up.

Adam slumps to the ground in the fetal position as the two circle characters bounce away. “Everyone else seems to be doing just fine…” He moans to himself.

Narration: In retrospect, what a waste of time!

Back in the destroyed doctor’s office, the giant PMDD sign stomps up and down on the burning Adam, who weakly asks, “So… what do I do about this?”

Dr. Seal rummages through their desk.

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Reemerging with a fire extinguisher, Dr. Seal announces, “Birth control, diet changes, antidepressants, CBT, and exercise can all help manage PMDD. Let’s start with extended cycle birth control, you’ll have about 4 periods a year.”

From beneath PMDD’s enormous feet, Adam looks up hopefully, asking “I can do that?” while small fires continue to burn on him.

Narration: Four periods a year sounded a lot better than white knuckling it for two weeks every two weeks, and it really, really was!

“You sure can!” Declares Dr. Seal as she discharges the fire extinguisher, completely covering Adam and scaring off the enormous PMDD figure.

In a completely different imaginary scene, Adam has transformed into a mole person wearing a construction hat. In the middle of a peaceful valley, he pops up from underground, announcing, “Birth control pills weren’t the final solution for me, but it was the start of a clearer head and a realization that I had agency in what was happening with my body. It was like digging out of a dark hole!”

Adam returns to his normal bovine presentation, sitting on the floor of his home art studio.

“Today, my IUD and testosterone* keep my PMDD symptoms in check.” Explains Adam cheerily as he sits squarely on top of the now-shrunken PMDD sign, leaving only its little legs exposed to kick ineffectually. “Ten years on, I’m glad to have done a total 180 on my old ways of thinking!”

Narration: *My improved personal health helped me realize I’m trans! PMDD affects all genders.

Grabbing a broom, Adam continues, “There’s nothing shameful about asking for help managing your period. Menstrual disorders are more common than you think, and you deserve treatment!”

The now-tiny PMDD creature skitters away as Adam sweeps at it with the broom, continuing, “All that energy I spent getting through the worst of times, I now use staying on top of my health. If any of this sounds familiar, talk to your doctor!”

“Seriously.” Exhales Adam, looking content but exhausted. “You should do it before you’re luteal again.”

Transcribed 7/7/2025 by Erika Moen for ohjoysextoy.com/pmdd-why-me-adam-green