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What Is Squirting Exactly — And Can You Learn To Do It?

What Is Squirting Exactly — And Can You Learn To Do It?

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If you watch a decent amount of porn — or otherwise travel in circles that talk about orgasms a lot — you might’ve heard a thing or two about ejaculation or “squirting” that can sometimes when a person with a vagina has an orgasm.

Squirting over the years has gone from a taboo topic to a sought-after bedroom experience for some people. A big reason many people used to feel more ashamed or less excited about the idea of squirting when they orgasm is because squirting (also sometimes called “female ejaculation,” though not everyone with a vulva identifies as female) just hasn’t been discussed or understood in the way ejaculation for people with penises has. Now the taboo is changing, but many misconceptions remain.

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“Squirting fascinates people because it looks like visible proof of pleasure, but it’s not a ‘better’ orgasm,” sex and intimacy coach Annette Benedetti tells SheKnows. “For many vulva owners, it’s simply a urethral release that can show up at peak arousal.”

According to Benedetti, stigma hits both sides: some folks feel embarrassed if they squirt and others feel less-than because they don’t. “Both reactions are born from the same myth that there’s one correct way to climax,” she says. “There isn’t. Pleasure is not a competition. If you’ve felt an ‘I’ve-got-to-pee’ wave right before a big release, you’re not broken. For some bodies, that sensation is part of the pathway to squirting. You get to decide whether that’s a door you open…or keep closed.”

What is squirting?

Dr. Michael Ingber, a physician who has done research on the subject of squirting and is board-certified in urology and female pelvic medicine and reconstructive surgery, tells SheKnows that squirting is simply when the person’s ejaculation fluid comes from the urethra.

Similar to penises, vulvas have “a bit of tissue at the junction of the urethra similar to the prostate, which is near the bladder,” he says. This tissue can “squirt” fluid into the urethra during sex or orgasm. The fluid produced, according to 2022 research, is a combination of “urine, but may also contain fluid from Skene’s glands (female prostate).”

While some people with vulvas expel fluid at the time of orgasm, there is also a condition known as “coital incontinence,” which is different. Coital incontinence is when there’s a large explosion of urine at orgasm, Ingber explains. This is typically something people seek medical assistance with.

What fluids are involved?

When someone with a vulva squirts during orgasm, there is prostatic-specific antigen (PSA) in the fluid. PSA is also “the protein produced in men’s prostate gland,” Ingber says.

Are squirting & ejaculation the same thing?

Ingber says vulvar ejaculation and squirting are essentially the same thing, although there has been much debate on the subject. While some people with vulvas have a small amount of milky-white discharge after orgasm (known as ejaculate), some expel enough fluid that it’s equivalent to wetting the bed.

How come some people with vulvas can do it & others can’t?

Ingber conducted an informational survey and found about 10 percent of people with a vulva squirt during orgasm. He also added that while some people enjoy this experience, others are annoyed by it or find it embarrassing or inconvenient.

A person’s ability to squirt depends on having the proper glands, as some people with a vulva simply “don’t have enough fluid within the gland,” Ingber notes. While there are procedures to fix squirting for those who don’t like it, Ingber says there has been no proof someone who doesn’t do it can teach their body to do. He adds, “it seems to be a natural phenomenon not everyone can do.”

The important thing to remember is whatever your body does during an orgasm is natural, and there should be no shame attached to it. Climaxing is an amazing experience to have on your own or share with a partner, and whether you have a vulva or a penis, the more we understand the way our body works, the more pleasurable the encounter. No one should feel ashamed while having an orgasm (or not) for any reason.

Can I learn how to squirt?

If you’re wondering whether you can learn to squirt, Benedetti says the answer is yes—but with nuance. “Some people discover that under the right conditions—high arousal, the right angle, good pressure—they do squirt,” she explains. “Others never do, and that’s equally healthy. I frame it this way: you can learn to create the conditions that make squirting more likely, but there’s no guarantee and no obligation.”

Think less “trick to master” and more “context to cultivate,” Benedetti says. “A slow build-up, relaxation, and steady pressure on the front vaginal wall (the urethral sponge) matter more than speed.”

Practical set-up helps, including emptying the bladder, protecting the bedding, and aiming for comfort over performance.

Other tips that Benedetti suggests include:

  • Build heat first. Start with clitoral stimulation, then add internal pressure. The front vaginal wall (the urethral sponge) responds best to pressure + rhythm, not jackhammer speed.
  • Use a curved stroke. Slow press–glide–release or a gentle “come-here” beats frantic thrusting every time.
  • Breathe and soften. When that urge-to-pee feeling arrives at high arousal, exhale and bear down gently if, and only if, it feels good and welcome.

There are also some orgasm-friendly positions that create an angle that may help you squirt (although these aren’t guarantees):

  • Forward-leaning cowgirl (hinge your torso toward your partner or a pillow): gives you direct leverage on the front wall so you can keep pressure consistent.
  • Missionary with a pillow or wedge under the hips (knees relaxed and supported, pelvis tilted): brings the urethral sponge right under curled fingers or a curved toy for that “up-and-in” stroke.
  • Edge-of-bed “butterfly” (hips on the edge, feet planted, partner kneeling/standing in front of you): great access and control for firm, rhythmic pressure with fingers or a curved wand. A curved G-spot wand with a pronounced bulb, or a heavier stainless-steel wand, makes consistent pressure easier. Pair it with a clitoral air-pulse/suction toy to keep arousal high and use plenty of water-based lube.

However, Benedetti cautions against trying to force squirting—whether for your own sake or your partner’s. “That aggressive, repetitive ‘hooking’ motion and pounding on a tense pelvic floor is more likely to feel abrasive or painful than sexy, and it can tank trust fast. Check in, go slow, add lube, and stop the moment the sensation turns sharp, burning, or simply unwanted. The goal is pleasure, not a party trick.”

Is it bad if I can’t squirt?

Short answer: no. “Not squirting isn’t a problem to fix,” Benedetti says. “Plenty of people have toe-curling, deeply satisfying orgasms without ever squirting. Squirting is a variation, not a graduation. You didn’t ‘unlock’ advanced sex if you squirt—you just discovered another way your body says yes.”

Some bodies squirt easily, some never do, and most fall somewhere in the middle (occasionally, under very specific circumstances). All of those patterns are healthy and deserve zero shame.

Bottom line: create the conditions if you want to experiment, skip it if you don’t, and measure success by how good it feels—not by how much fluid shows up.

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Ashley Britton/SheKnows

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