What is Frotting & Other Frot Questions, Answered

Last updated:July 22, 2025

Frotting is a sex act that occurs between two people with penises and is sometimes called frottage or frot. To perform a frot, partners rub their penis (and sometimes testicles) together. Someone may also simply rub their penis on another body part. 

Deriving from the French word ‘frotter,’ which translates into ‘to rub’ in Engish,  this act of pleasure is based on rubbing or grinding, which stimulates the many nerves that run along the head and shaft of the penis, as well as the testicles. It’s also sometimes referred to as frottage, which is a slang word that refers to non-penetrative sex acts or outercourse.

While frottage is often performed as a part of foreplay as bodies get closer towards intercourse, it’s also a form of sex in and of itself – especially for people who aren’t interested in penetration.

It became popular in the late 1990s with activist Bill Weintraub, who presented it as an alternative to anal penetration and oral sex that still allowed penis owners to be intimate via genital-to-genital contact. Some studies show that it’s also a form of sex for those who are averse to power play or gender roles, as there’s no dominant or submissive in charge – those who rub are equals due to the symmetry of the act.

Gay frotting can occur with either gender – it usually just goes by a different name. For two vulva owners, the equivalent would be scissoring or tribbing. That said, frotting isn’t just for members of the LGBTQIA+ community.  Cis-het partners can also participate, and many vulva owners experience powerful orgasms from rubbing or grinding, which is why the cowgirl position is so popular. 

Always Keep It Consensual

Let us be clear: non-consensual frotting is a form of sexual assault and is punishable by law. It’s when a person with a penis rubs themselves against someone else without their consent. This could occur in a private space like your home or a public space like public transportation. Get consent not just for the act but also for the intensity of the rubbing.

Consider implementing a traffic light system with your partner throughout sex acts – green light indicates go, while yellow means pause, and red means you need to slam the brakes on the activity. 

Types of Frotting

There are many ways to practice frottage or frotting based on your desires and comfort level.

Genital to Genital

For men, this would involve rubbing the penises and/or genitals together. Sometimes, people place a finger or a toy between each other’s genitals, increasing stimulation. 

Add a penis ring for the added sensation of vibrations, or insert a prostate or anal toy to wake up the P-spot if desired.  For people with vulvas doing this, placing a vibrator between your bodies can intensify the experience.

Frotting with clothes

Dry humping with clothes on isn’t just for high schoolers — in fact, it can be just as pleasurable for adults. It may even be preferable for people who have ultra-sensitive bodies to find direct genital contact too intense. Even with clothes, pressure, and friction can be exciting. This can also be an amazing type of foreplay and amp up the anticipation.

Body to Body

For those who don’t want to genital-to-genital contact, body-to-body frotting allows you to rub the penis or vulva on other body parts like the thighs, belly, breasts, or butt, allowing for new sensations or fantasies — especially if you find certain body parts of your partner irresistible. 

While “tit jobs” are popular, a “thigh job” is also a common form of frotting, where one partner wraps their thighs around the penis to please it. 

How To Frot in Different Positions 

Partners should always discuss the scenario in which they’ll be frotting, meaning that consent should be given and received before performing the act. 

Standing or Sitting Facing Each Other

If both people have an erection, they can stand or sit facing each other, rubbing the underside of the penis running parallel to one another. From this position, you can also use your hands. 

Lay Down in Opposite Directions

By lying with heads on opposite sides, penises can still align in the middle, allowing hands to reach and also allowing for some simultaneous analysis play, if desired. 

Face to Face, Lying Down

This is one of the most intimate ways to perform frotting and can be done by any gender and sexuality. For heterosexual partners, the penis-owner might rub or tap himself on his partner’s vulva. This position also allows for mutual masturbation. 

Full Frontal

Instead of side to side, one partner will lay on top of the other, similar to the missionary positions, thrusting up and down to rub genitals together. This can be done with or without clothes. 

Standing in the Shower or One Partner On Top in the Bath

Adding water into the mix can be a sexy way to mix things up and get a little slippery. If you’re doing bath or shower play, we reccomend using silicone-based lubricant, as it’s longer-lasting underwater. 

Frotting Tips 

Watch Frot Porn for Inspiration

If you’re still having trouble envisioning your frot session, need a little creativity boost, or simply want to get in the mood by seeing how it’s done, check out the variety of frotting porn, otherwise known as frot porn, that the internet has to offer. 

Use Lube To Reduce Friction

Don’t forget to use lube no matter what kind of frotting you perform since friction can cause discomfort, especially on the delicate skin of the genitals. If skin is try, chafing, irritating, or bruising can occur. Use water-based lube if silicone toys are involved.

Consider Barriers If Needed

Even though penetration isn’t happening and frotting is considered a form of risk reduction for STI transmission,  safe sex is still important. If you and your partner aren’t being tested for STIs regularly, consider wearing barriers like condoms or Lorals. 

Add Sex Toys 

As we previously mentioned, adding toys to your frottage can increase intensity and provide different sensations. Some great options to do this are the LILY or TOR ring. A ring can help keep the penis erect for longer and delay climax – they also make mutual masturbation easier.  

Frot Is Hot, So Get To Exploring

There’s something about the heat of friction that connects people to their deepest desire, whether you’re performing it as foreplay or the main act. This act isn’t just incredibly erotic – it’s open to interpretation and personalization, making it one of the most empowering and creative pleasure acts that you can explore with a partner. 

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