50 Shades of Grey in the bedrooms 🟡 pjur BLOG

Have you read or watched Fifty Shades of Grey and
wondered what BDSM is all about? Then you’re in the right place! We don’t think
BDSM should be a taboo, so here we explain what those letters mean and what
types of play are out there.

BDSM: four letters, six words

BDSM stands for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and
Submission, Sadism, and Masochism. It covers a range of consensual practices
that involve surrendering power and physical or emotional stimulation, and can include
anything from bondage through role play. To find out more about the principles of
BDSM, have a look at our blog and dive even deeper into the world
of BDSM. 

If you’re new to the BDSM scene and want to try
something different, we’ve got what you’re looking for. Follow these tips and
rules to start the adventure in your bedroom.

Brief history of BDSM: sadomasochistic practices have a long history. The leather scene gradually appeared from the middle of the 20^th century and began to identify itself as a community from the 1970s. Nobody knows how many people actually practice BDSM and fantasize about it; according to past studies, this could be anything from 2 through 62% of the population. BDSM images and scenes have existed on the fringe of western culture since the early 20^th century.

BDSM for beginners: rules to get you started in the world of SM games

• Discuss your fantasies and desires with your partner. You
  need to openly say what you want!
• Trust is critical – you
  need to respect your partner’s limits.
• Be open: submissive men
  are not weak, dominant women are not demanding.
• Go slow and take the time
  to explore your preferences and desires fully.
• Decide on a safe word
  that your partner can say if things have gone too far. (Little tip: ouch is not
  a good safe word 😊)

Important words in SM

You
already know the word sadomasochism, SM for short, from our blog. It’s actually
two words combined: sadism and masochism. SM is a sexual practice which focuses
on pain, dominance, submission, humiliation, and power. The difference here is
that physical pain is centerstage, as opposed to the psychological elements of
a power relationship. In sadomasochism, pain is experienced and eroticized consensually,
completely voluntarily.

SM has
its own language. Here are just some of the words you need to know:

Sub = Bottom, the submissive partner, who
voluntarily surrenders elements of self-determination during a session to
experience an increase in pleasure

Dom = dominant partner, who gets excited
and aroused by controlling and having power over the sub

Submissive = submissive/subservient
behavior, the opposite of dominant

Top = the opposite to the bottom. Refers to
the person who calls the shots in sex

Have you heard the words Domina and
Dominus, but not understood what they meant? Here’s our guide explaining
the role of a Domina or Dominus.

So, what does a Domina or Dominus do?

Did
you know: in the past, the Dominus was the man of the house, while the Domina was
his wife, the woman of the house – both had a say in the family and household. The
BDSM scene adopted these words to describe the dominant partner to reflect this
traditional power structure.

Today,
a Domina is often addressed using titles such as Lord, Goddess, Mistress, or Lady. They can perform both
professionally and privately, and have different tasks. The role of Domina or
Dominus tends to vary from one person to the next, depending on the preferences
and limits of the people involved in the play. For example, they can dictate
the use of verbal humiliation, physical punishment, bondage, or other practices
as part of an agreed code of behavior. A Domina or Dominus enjoys including
different gadgets or toys in sex play.

Sex toys are no longer taboo: they come up in conversation among friends, and more and more people go
to sex toy parties. Yet despite this growing popularity, very few people are
aware of BDSM toys. But we’re going to change that right now. We’ve examined
the toys in detail, and found some that could really spice things up in the
bedroom.

What are the most popular BDSM gadgets?

A Domina/Dominus is keen to use a toy to
stimulate their sub. There is a wide range of toys out there for BDSM fans –
which can make it hard to choose. We’ve found something for both beginners and
long-standing BDSMers. Here are five popular toys to start you off on your
thrilling adventure.

1. Handcuffs and shackles

These
are perfect for anyone just starting out. They are used to control and direct your
partner. The combination of handcuffs and blindfold can be particularly
arousing, making sure your partner is fully concentrating on you.

2. Feather tickler

BDSM is
not just about sensually tormenting the other person. You can alternate between
punishment and reward. And a feather tickler is the perfect way to reward your
partner.

3. Woollen ropes

These
are classic bondage toys. You can use them as handcuffs, stimulate different
parts of the body with knots, or use them to tie your partner to the bed. There
are different tying techniques to try, just make sure that the rope is flexible
and elastic.

For those
of you with a bit more experience, we have two more popular toys that are
frequently used in the BDSM scene. They are aimed at those who have already given
BDSM a go and feel confident with it and their partner.

4. Flogger and whip

The whip
is the opposite to a feather tickler. This toy is perfect for punishing your
partner, which is why it’s so popular. Floggers are used widely as they have several
thongs, so you can use them to cause different levels of pain.

5. Pinwheel

This
toy guarantees thrills! It stimulates the nerves when you run it over the skin.
It can even cause pain, depending on how hard you press on the skin. But as you
know: pain and pleasure are two sides of the same coin 😊.

Another
big element of the BDSM scene is vinyl and leather clothing. Both the Dom and
the sub can slip into vinyl and leather. There are no limits to your fantasies:
from full-body suits through underwear or masks, there’s something for everyone.

People
often ask: How do I clean it and how does it stay so lovely and shiny? We’ve got what you need, because pjur also has suitable products for fetish lovers.

Shibari – THE hottest trend in the BDSM scene

Have you heard about THE hottest trend? It comes from
Japan and is called Shibari, which means “binding.” It involves sexual binding,
where a person is tied up in complicated patterns. The knots and the way the
tendons are stretched by suspending the tied-up person (or bunny) stimulates
different parts of the body and increases desire. Several lengths of thin rope,
around six millimeters thick and seven to eight meters long, are used.

Curious? There are special workshops offered online
now, or you can look up the technique on YouTube. But take care! Shibari
is not for beginners, as it can lead to severe injuries. It requires very
special techniques, and you need to fully master them before giving it a go to ensure
you don’t cause serious injuries to anyone.

So – Already planning your next BDSM purchase?

BDSM means
something different to each of us. We think it’s important that it’s no longer
taboo, and everyone can play out preferences that they share with their
partner. So: talk to each other and discuss your ideas openly. If you want to
try BDSM, start with small steps, and gradually venture further into this world
as you become more comfortable. pjur is there for you and supports you. Because
we accept all preferences and fetishes. 

#pjuristhereforyou

Image sources:
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