A Master Guide to Low Libido

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On May 29, 2026

Having a low libido is more common than you may think. And yet, there are so many people out there who are too ashamed to talk about it, leaving them to suffer in silence or feel confused.

To that, it’s important to note that sexual desire is not a fixed trait. And actually, there are many things at play when it comes to your level of arousal, such as your biology, psychology, relationships, and environment.

What is Libido? (The Science of Desire)

Libido is the overall sexual drive or desire for sexual activity.

Let’s take a look at where desire fits in by talking about the sexual response cycle. In this cycle, there are four stages: desire (libido), arousal (excitement), orgasm, and resolution.

1. Desire

This is the first stage in the sexual response cycle. It’s all about sexual interest, and can come about from things like internal thoughts (fantasies) or external factors (a sexual or physical attraction to someone). Desire is influenced by our hormones, namely testosterone and estrogen, as well as our brain chemistry, and psychological factors like our mood, stress, or relationship status.

2. Arousal

This is when the body physiologically responds to sexual stimulation. This includes an increase in heart rate, more blood flow to the genitals in an attempt to prepare for penetration, the production of (more) lubrication in women, and an erection in men. This second phase can actually happen with or without a strong desire, which is interesting as it proves that the body and the mind are not always in perfect sync.

3. Orgasm

This is the peak of sexual pleasure and the release of sexual tension. When you climax, the brain releases a cocktail of different feel-good hormones like oxytocin and dopamine. This then creates a feeling of pleasure and connection (with yourself or with your partner).

4. Resolution

After orgasming, the body will slowly return back to its baseline. This is when the muscles start to relax, the heart rate slows down, and you may feel a sense of calm or peaceful wellbeing. It’s also in this stage that some experience the refractory period, which is when they need time to relax before they can become aroused again. This is more prominent in men, and is only temporary.

Then, did you know that there are actually two kinds of sexual desire: spontaneous and responsive? WebMD goes on to explain these two types of sexual desire by saying:

“The spontaneous kind just arises… spontaneously. This might be the kind of sex drive people associate with hormonal teenagers and 20-somethings. Responsive desire arises in response to some outside stimulus. It happens when you get turned on while you read an erotic story or watch a sexy movie or feel the touch of someone you’re sexually attracted to.”

It’s interesting to note that modern research has found some people, especially those in long term relationships, tend to react to responsive desire rather than spontaneous desire. Aka, the mood only strikes after stimulation has begun. But, at the end of the day, each person is unique.

The Dual Control Model: Accelerators vs. Brakes

Looking at the concept of libido, many seem to believe that arousal is something that you can simply turn on. This isn’t true however. In reality, libido is regulated in the brain known as the “dual control model”.

There are two systems in the dual control model:

The Sexual Excitation System (SES)

The best analogy for this system would be to think of it as the accelerator pedal. When someone receives some kind of stimulation that’s arousing, like visual images, emotional connections, or erotic thoughts, the SES system kicks in. Dopamine is released, increasing motivation, anticipation, and reward.

The Sexual Inhibition System (SIS)

The best analogy for this system would be to think of it as the brake pedal. The brain scans for potential risks, harm, fatigue, discomfort, or stress, and when it finds it, the SIS system kicks into protection mode.

Interestingly, the SIS system can be activated even when a person is aroused, as this part of the brain prioritises survival over reproduction. This explains why so many people need to feel safe, rested, and mentally present during sexual experiences, and why increased sexual stimuli alone sometimes just doesn’t do the trick.

There’s also an interesting concept called “arousal non-concordance”. This when the body and the mind aren’t in sync. In this scenario, someone may be producing natural lubrication or getting an erection, but at the same time, they’re not really feeling desire or interest.

In this case, there is physical arousal, but the feelings of desire are simply not there.

This is not something to worry about however. This mismatch is considered normal, and it’s just how human sexuality operates sometimes.

In fact, understanding this could be a positive step in understanding your levels of arousal without shame or judgement. It’s important to respond to your body with curiosity rather than pressure.

Why is My Sex Drive Low? Major Causes

There are so many reasons why you may be experiencing a low libido. And as we mentioned, it’s a common occurrence, not something to feel bad or embarrassed about.

Here are four major causes of a low sex drive:

1. Physical

Physically, there’s a direct link between sexual desire and the body’s hormones. For example, estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone are key hormones in arousal. If those aren’t in balance, it could have negative side effects.

A particular example would be if someone was going through perimenopause or menopause. During this time, there’s a decline in estrogen, which causes a disruption in vaginal tissue, blood flow, and sensitivity.

Lower levels of testosterone in men and women can also reduce sexual desire.

Then there’s the aspect of physical pain, inflammation, and fatigue. During these kinds of ailments and conditions, the body will prioritise managing discomfort and sleepiness as opposed to sexual arousal.

2. Medication Side Effects

Medically, there are some medications, like SSRIs (anti-depressants), beta blockers, and the birth control pill, that can have an effect on your libido, as they alter brain chemistry, blood flow, and/or hormone levels.

3. Mental Health and Stress

The brain plays a big role in sexual desire. So when there’s stress, for example, it increases the release of cortisol (the stress hormone). Cortisol can lead to a low libido as it can suppress estrogen and testosterone, and it can keep your nervous system in a constant state of awareness, which can definitely hinder arousal.

Stress aside, anxiety and depression can also change the chemicals in the brain and reduce energy, creating a low libido.

If you find that you’re experiencing a low libido while living with mental health concerns or issues, having a low libido is not in your head. It’s actually a result of measurable interactions between your brain, hormones, and nervous system.

4. Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD)

Lastly, there is a biopsychosocial condition called Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD). This is a clinically-recognised condition, and it’s when someone is living with a low libido for a prolonged period of time and it’s causing distress or concern in their life.

HSDD can involve a number of different factors, including one’s hormones, brain chemistry, psychological wellbeing, and their relationships. To diagnose and receive support, one would require a combination of medical guidance, psychological sessions, and lifestyle adjustments.

The good news? A low libido is not a fixed state. It’s oftentimes merely a reflection on how one’s body and mind are adapting to current situations. With the right help, it can become a lot easier to target with informed strategies.

HSDD is characterised by:

A constant lack of sexual desire
A noticeable change from previous levels of desire
Personal distress, or difficulty within a relationship as a result

Men vs. Women: How Low Libido Differs

Low libido differs between men and women due to biological reasons, as well as social conditioning, and how desire is experienced.

In women: hormones like estrogen and progesterone play a big role in sexual arousal… and they fluctuate across the menstrual cycle (and even more so during perimenopause and menopause). This can lead to lower energy, reduced blood flow to the genitals, and different levels of sensitivity, depending on the time of the month and stage of life.

Women are also more prone to experiencing responsive desire. Many like to engage in intimacy, touch, or have an emotional connection rather than engage in spontaneous sexual activities. This can oftentimes be confused with having a low libido, but it’s actually just a sexual desire preference.

Then, it’s often more difficult for women who carry a big mental load to access their sexual desire, even when there’s a genuine interest or attraction. This is because their brain might be in overload trying to manage responsibilities, anticipating needs, or feeling overwhelmed in general.

In men: there is a bigger stigma attached to having a low libido. This is partly because of the myth that men are “always ready”. In actuality, this myth is merely a social narrative. Either way, it’s led many to believe that they always need to be turned on and available for (spontaneous) desire. When they’re not? It can lead to feeling like a failure.

Men also experience a decline in testosterone as they age. Testosterone is a key hormone in sexual desire, so naturally, one’s libido may decrease, and they might see a change in mood and energy. This, plus performance-related anxiety, can hinder desire and sexual arousal.

There’s also, of course, stress and other psychological and physiological ailments. As is with women, a high level of cortisol can interfere with arousal, and stress can reduce levels of testosterone.

How To Increase Libido: Holistic and Medical Solutions

As we’ve established, there are a variety of reasons why you might be experiencing a low libido. With that, there’s no single “fix”, as there are so many factors that could be at play.

Some of the most effective approaches however are when you work with your body, supporting it with physiological balance and psychological safety.

Here are some holistic and medical solutions on how to increase libido that may work for you:

Lifestyle Shifts

Sleep is a powerful regulator. This is when the body restores balance, including hormonal balance. With a lack of sleep, cortisol levels can be high, which we know could affect one’s libido.

Eating foods that are rich in antioxidants and healthy fats, like dark chocolate and avocados, can help widen blood vessels, which means there could be an increase of blood flow to the genitals for more sexual arousal.

Exercise is also important to improve circulation, support hormone production, and to boost endorphins and dopamine. All of this can result in less stress (less cortisol), leaving you to feel more relaxed and possibly more in the mood.

Communication

Relationships can be difficult. When there are arguments, or a lack of trust or safety, it can be difficult to feel safe enough to be aroused and to engage in sexual activity. That’s why open communication is essential. When you can talk openly and honestly with your partner about sex, and other stressors, it could help you to feel emotionally safe, more connected, and more empathy for yourself and your partner. This can create a supportive foundation for desire to naturally occur.

Redefining Intimacy

So many people see an orgasm as the goal of any sexual encounter. Oftentimes, it’s the climax itself that indicates that intimacy is over. But did you know that if you continue to believe that orgasm is the only focus, it can unknowingly activate the brain’s sexual inhibition system (SIS)? In turn, it could increase pressure and reduce spontaneity.

When to Seek Professional Help

If you feel as though your low sex drive is persistent and causing you dissatisfaction in your daily life as well as your relationship, a professional could help. A medical doctor, for example, could do some bloodwork to check your hormones, and a sex therapist could help address any emotional barriers, anxiety, past traumas, or relationship dynamics, after which they’ll be able to provide you with tools for rebuilding your desire.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Is it normal to have no sex drive?

Yes, it is. If you feel as though you have very little or no sex drive at all sometimes, this can be completely normal. Libido actually exists on a spectrum, not a fixed standard. So, it’s natural for it to fluctuate in response to changes in your body, mind, and environment.

How long does it take to increase sex drive?

Because sexual arousal is complex, and there are many factors at play, there’s no one-size-fits-all as to how long it’ll take to increase sex drive. It all depends on the factors that are causing it. Sometimes it could take a few days, other times it could take a few weeks or months. For more serious cases, or for those who are unable to identify the reason for their low libido, it could take longer than a few months.

Can supplements help?

Sometimes. But it all depends on the specific case, and the evidence so far is mixed.

From a medical standpoint, there has been clinical research on the topic with varying results. For example:

This study says that certain herbal supplements, namely ginseng and saffron, were associated with improvements in sexual desire, satisfaction, and even testosterone levels in some participants.
A different study focusing on women found that a combination of vitamin E and ginseng improved sexual desire and satisfaction compared to a placebo over six weeks.
And another study showed that a multi-ingredient supplement (including L-arginine and ginseng) improved sexual satisfaction by 73% of participants.

But it’s important not to take these studies too seriously, as many of them were short term or were conducted on a small scale.

A more accurate answer would be to assume that some supplements could help, but it’s best to look at the reasons why you may be experiencing a low libido, and really target those issues, either proactively alone or, in severe cases, alongside a healthcare professional.

The big takeaway here is that a low libido is not a fixed trait. It’s dynamic, and the fact that it fluctuates is merely part of being human.

These fluctuations can shift with stress, health, relationships, different life stages, and even subtle emotional changes. But that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It just means that your body is working well, and that it’s communicating with your mind to stay in sync.

In other words, a low libido is not a personal failure. It’s simply a way of letting you know to prioritise certain things like sleep, connection, and possibly even more compassion toward yourself.

Ultimately, there’s no “normal” level of desire. And what really matters is if your current day to day life aligns with your wellbeing and your relationships. If it doesn’t, you do have options. Give yourself permission to take it at your own pace, and to slowly reconnect with yourself.

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