How to Have an Anal Orgasm Using a Vibrator?

There’s no wrong way to have an orgasm; that’s for sure. But for the most part, penis-havers are used to penis-driven orgasms, and clitoris-havers are accustomed to clitoral orgasms. For those who are interested in branching out, our Ph.D. sexologist Rachel Sommer is here to explain the ins and outs of anal orgasms for anyone who has an anus (hint: that’s all of us!)

The ABCs of Anal Vibrators

There are plenty of anal vibrators to choose from — so many, in fact, that you may be feeling a bit overwhelmed, especially if you are new to this game. We are here to help you pick the one (or more!) that is best for you! Some things to keep in mind are shape, size, material, and motor.

The most important aspect of an anal vibrator’s shape is that it must have a wide or flared base for safety. You do not want to “lose” your toy inside your anus, especially when it is too slippery to grip and the strong contractions of an orgasm try to suck it in. If this happens, it can be a potentially expensive and potentially embarrassing (although it shouldn’t be, because ER medics have seen it all) visit to the emergency department of your local hospital.

Size also matters when it comes to safety, and comfort too! The average human anus regularly stretches to approximately 3.5 cm during defecation, and medical sources report that objects up to 5 cm in diameter can generally be inserted safely (with gradual stretching and training, most adults can accommodate up to 7.5cm). This strongly suggests that people who are new to anal play will do best with vibrators 5 cm in diameter or smaller. Flashing back to junior high math class, this means a circumference of approximately 16 cm or just over 6”.

Shape is another consideration here, and we’ll write more about that later. A solid cylinder that measures 6” around is going to feel much more substantial than a string of vibrating anal beads where the largest bead is 6” in circumference. Think about whether you’re looking to feel as full as possible, or whether you prefer stimulation over saturation. Note that there is no wrong answer here — this is strictly a matter of personal preference.

Just like other sex toys, anal vibrators are produced in a variety of different materials. It’s important here to choose a toy that can be cleaned thoroughly, so look for one that is fully submersible (IPX 7) and not just splash-proof (IPX 6). Other than that, this is also a matter of personal preference. Some folks like textured toys for additional stimulation, and others prefer smooth for ease of entry. Similarly, some like the softness of premium silicone, and others prefer smooth hard plastic.

Also consider whether you want gentle vibrations, powerful rumbles, or a toy with a wide menu of choices. Folks who are new to this kind of play sometimes find that too much is just too much, so we advise choosing an anal vibrator that has a gentle setting to start off with.

It’s Shopping Time!

If you want to experiment with anal vibrators, you will need an anus, a vibrator, and plenty of good-quality lube. We assume that you have the first taken care of, so let’s talk about the next two.

Varieties of Anal Vibrators

There are lots of different kinds of anal vibrators on the market. There are also models that are not marketed as anal vibrators, but you may be tempted to try them back there. This is fine as long as they have a flared or wide base, and are made of a material that can be thoroughly cleaned — but we do think that it’s a better idea to start off with a toy that’s made for this geography.

• Vibrating Butt Plugs: Butt plugs are probably what most of us think of when we think of anal toys. They are designed to be inserted and left in place during your play session, and come in all shapes and sizes. Butt plug beginners probably want to start out with a slimmer plug. We also recommend choosing one with a rounded or gently tapered tip for ease of insertion. Some manufacturers and retailers sell sets of butt plugs ranging from slim to super-sized, and this could be a good option for anyone who hopes to make this part of their regular routine.
• Anal Beads: Anal beads are a series of connected spheres, usually of graduated sizes, that you insert into your anus and then slowly pull out during your orgasm. They provide gentle, steady stimulation pre-orgasm, but the best part is that an orgasm aided by anal beads is incredibly intense.
• Prostate Massager: These are primarily marketed towards people with prostates (which makes sense!), but there’s no reason why they can’t be used by any body and any gender. These vibrators are usually slender and curved/angled. They are intended for deeper, targeted penetration.

Lube Is Your Friend

Good-quality lube makes most sexual experiences better, but it is absolutely essential for anal play — and this is for your health and safety, not just for fun. Anal tissue is delicate and this area does not produce any natural lubrication, so you will need to use lube to avoid tears.

• Water-Based Lube: This is the most common type of lube, and it’s compatible with most sex toys and safe for most bodies. If you already have a bottle of lube on your nightstand, it’s probably water-based lube. You can certainly use this kind of lube for this kind of play, but be aware that it dries out more quickly than other kinds of lube, so you will most likely need to reapply it during your play time.
• Silicone-Based Lube: This kind of lube does not dry out as quickly as water-based lube, and some folks love the extra-slippery feel. However, you shouldn’t use silicone-based lube with silicone sex toys since it will damage the toy. Sensitive skin types should also try a patch test first.
• Oils: Food-grade oils, like coconut oil or avocado oil, can also be used as lube for anal play. They have the advantage of not drying out quickly and they are body-friendly. But just like silicone lube is not safe to use with silicone toys, oils are not safe to use with latex toys. A larger potential complication is that oils are also not safe to use with latex condoms, so if anal play is part of partnered sex and condoms are also part of your partnered sex, oils should not be on that menu.

How to Have an Anal Orgasm Using a Vibrator

1. Get Ready! Anal play can require a bit more prep than other kinds of sex play. Try to move your bowels earlier in the day if you are planning on trying for an anal orgasm that night; this will be more comfortable for you and prevent any unpleasant surprises. Clean yourself well before playtime. You can use an anal douche if you want, but it is not always necessary, especially with proper prep.
2. Get Set! Prep can include your mind as well as your body. Using an anal vibrator is easier and much more fun if you are feeling comfortable and relaxed. Do some stretches, put on your favorite music, and read or watch whatever gets you in the mood. You can also use another toy to get the party started.
3. And GO! It’s time to explore the world of anal orgasms. Start by applying plenty of your chosen lube to your hand, your body, and your anal vibrator. Use your fingers to explore the anal area. Insert your anal vibrator slowly and gently. Obviously, don’t force anything, and stop immediately if you feel pain or discomfort. Once the toy is comfortably positioned, turn it on low and slow. You can experiment with the settings, or try moving the toy for additional stimulation.

For People With Prostates

Some people have G-spots, and some people have P-spots. The P-spot is the prostate gland, which is located inside the rectum. The prostate is about the size of a walnut, produces semen, and is packed with nerve endings. Many people with prostates report extremely powerful, sometimes hands-free orgasms from prostate play.

If you have not already located your P-spot, it’s probably easier to find it with your finger first. Wash your hands and your body, and make sure that your fingernails are short and filed. Apply lube to your hand and your body. Insert one finger gently into your anus and feel for a small bump on the front rectal wall.

Now that you’ve found it, you can use your chosen anal vibrator to stimulate it. Prostate toys are engineered to help you target that spot, but if you prefer the full feeling of a butt plug, many of them work for this as well. Enjoy experimenting with your vibrator’s patterns and speeds!

For People With Vulvas

People who don’t have prostates may feel that they’re missing out, but it’s possible for some of us to achieve anal orgasms! The anterior fornix, also known as the A-spot, is also rich with nerve endings and is linked to glands that produce lubrication (sounds a little like a prostate, doesn’t it?).

It is located deep inside the vagina, and it is possible to stimulate it indirectly through the vaginal and anal walls. A butt plug vibrator would probably be best, since it is thick enough that you will feel pressure on your A-spot.

Happy vibing!

Rachel

Rachel is a clinical sexologist with a focus on LGBTQ+ and BIPOC issues. Originally from Texas, she loves sushi, white wine, and spending time with her partner Jessica. She has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Yahoo.com, Women’s Health, Healthline, Glamour, and MindBodyGreen.
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