How to Discreetly Buy Sex Toys?

Let’s get this out up front — there is absolutely nothing shameful about buying or using sex toys. Statista reports that Americans spend about $11B every year on sex toys, and that over half of all American adults own at least one sex toy. You should know that you are not alone in your affinity for personal electronics!

But, we also get that you want your business to stay your business. So we are here with our clinical sexologist, Dr. Rachel Sommer, to talk about how to discreetly buy sex toys.

1. Online Shopping Is the Most Discreet Option

It’s easy to stay in your own personal privacy bubble when you’re shopping for sex toys on your computer or smartphone. You can do all the browsing and comparing that you want without anyone else knowing what you’re looking at or for. Most online sex toy retailers even let you compile wish lists or add products to your cart to save for later.

Sexologist Rachel Sommer, Ph.D., agrees: “Online shopping is by far the most discreet option. With so many online retailers offering anonymous billing and discreet packaging, it’s a no-brainer for privacy-conscious shoppers.”

If you share your computer or family members have a habit of grabbing your phone, you can use incognito or private mode when you are browsing or shopping. This typically deletes browser history as soon as you sign off. You can also clear your cache and cookies.

One of our readers, Jenna, confirms: “I love shopping online because there’s no awkwardness. The discreet shipping means no one in my household has any idea what I’ve ordered and that’s priceless.”

2. You Can Expect Discreet Shipping

Back in the day (your parents’ day, probably, or even your grandparents’ day), people used to joke about certain types of packages arriving in “plain brown wrappers.” Some things never change, because reputable sex toy retailers still ship in plain boxes with no logos or branding, and boring return addresses with a trade name that gives no clue to what’s inside the box.

Reader Chris confirms: “I ordered from Lovehoney and the packaging was so plain even my nosy neighbor couldn’t tell what I was getting. It’s like getting an Amazon package.”

And speaking of Amazon, if you choose to buy your sex toys from Amazon — and there are plenty of really good sex toy manufacturers with Amazon store pages — you can choose to have your purchase shipped to an Amazon locker near you.

This means that there will be no packages arriving at your front door for anyone to ask about, and you can decide when you want to pick up your package and bring it home. The package retrieval process is automated, so you won’t have to talk to anyone and most Amazon lockers are accessible 24/7. You can even pay for your purchase with an Amazon gift card (reload your balance online or buy a gift card at any big box store).

4. Use Payment Methods That Keep Your Purchase Private

Amazon gift cards aren’t the only way to buy your sex toys anonymously. Just like you can buy Amazon gift cards at big box retailers, you can buy prepaid cards like Vanilla Visa or American Express Bluebird. These are accepted everywhere that Visa or American Express are, and that includes online sex toy retailers. You can also buy gift cards at some adult retailers, but unless you can pay for them in person with cash, they will still appear on your bank statement.

However, this shouldn’t be too much of a concern. Just like reputable retailers ship in “plain brown wrappers,” most of them have trade names that are anonymous and dull on your credit card statements. As an example, LELO shows up as SWEDEN INMN. Lovehoney appears on Visa and Mastercard statements as LH Trading, but does come up as Lovehoney LLC on Amex statements and on PayPal.

Our sexologist Rachel Sommer says, “Using prepaid cards or platforms like PayPal gives you an extra layer of discretion. It’s all about making people feel good about their purchase without the fear of being found out.”

And one of our regular readers, Brian, has been shopping this way for years. “I use gift cards for everything I buy online. It’s just an extra layer of privacy and I don’t have to worry about anything showing up on my statements. Plus, it’s a great firewall against scams.”

5. It’s Still an Option to Visit a Store!

Online shopping is easy and discreet, but some people prefer a hands-on experience and there’s nothing wrong with that. Off-peak hours at sex toy retailers are typically weekdays before noon, so that may be the best time to shop if you want more privacy. However, one of the best things about doing your shopping in person at a sex toy store is that anyone you encounter there is doing the exact same thing — they are not going to judge you!

6. A Private Email Keeps Things Under Wraps

If you share your email inbox with family members — or worse, work colleagues — you may not want details of your recreational shopping to show up. Luckily, there are lots and lots of free email providers where you can quickly and easily sign up for an address to which only you have access. Even better are providers that allow you to create disposable, temporary addresses that you can delete after your package shows up at your door (of course, if you do that, you won’t get the discount codes that lots of sex toy retailers love to send out!).

Ph.D. sexologist Rachel Sommer agrees: “Using a separate email account helps people feel more secure about their purchases, especially when managing multiple accounts or keeping sensitive information private.”

7. Try Not to Worry About It

Maybe this should have been the first piece of advice (but then, we wouldn’t have an article). But for real, this may feel like a big deal to you but it really isn’t to anyone else. Remember that most adults have sex toys of their own. And you are doing absolutely nothing wrong by being an adult who enjoys themselves in an adult way. You may want to keep your private life private, and that is completely respectable, but if it happens that you get found out? Hold your head high and don’t be ashamed.

A reader, Lily, shares this cute story: “I used to be so worried someone would find out what I was buying. Now I just think to myself, who cares? If anyone asks, I’ll just say it’s for a bachelorette party!”

Final Thoughts

We have advised you not to worry about it, but we also know that’s easier said than done. A lifetime of conditioning takes more than an afternoon to overcome. So while you’re working through things, just remember that it’s actually pretty easy to buy your sex toys anonymously and discreetly. You can use any or all of the advice here to keep your purchases private.

Happy shopping, and happy sex toy-ing!

Sandra

Sandra studied nursing and sexual health and is named one of the world’s top 50 sexologists. She founded My Sex Toy Guide in 2016, where she and a team of experts write about relationships, LGBTQ topics, and other sexuality issues. She has been featured in Men’s Health, Wedding Wire, InsideHook, ThriveGlobal, and more.
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