The Orgasm Gap: Why Do Women Orgasm Less Often?

Sex is considered the most enjoyable pastime in the world. But if you take a closer look, a clear imbalance becomes apparent: Men experience an orgasm during heterosexual sex significantly more often than women. There is a scientific term for this phenomenon – the orgasm gap.

This is not about individual experiences or personal preferences, but about a pattern that researchers have been observing for decades. While men reach climax during sexual intercourse in most cases, many women in a heterosexual context are significantly more likely not to. A review of studies from 2022 shows that women experience an orgasm during sex with a heterosexual partner in 30 to 60 percent of cases, depending on the study. For men, this figure is between 70 and 100 percent.*¹

Psychologist and sex therapist Nele Sehrt*² sums up this difference: “Women in heterosexual relationships orgasm significantly less often during sexual intercourse than, for example, women in homosexual relationships.”*²  This statement raises an interesting question. If women generally orgasmed less frequently, this would have to be the case regardless of whom they have sex with. But that is precisely what the studies do not show. Women in same-sex relationships report fulfilling sex significantly more often and are far more likely to reach orgasm.

A study by the University of Bern comes to a similar conclusion. More than 90 percent of women stated that they usually or even always experience an orgasm during solo sex. During sex with men, however, this figure falls to around 60 percent.*⁴

The female body therefore clearly seems to know how an orgasm works. Why does it happen so much more often alone or during homosexual sex than during sex with the opposite sex? The answer is considerably more complex than many people initially assume.

The Cause Rarely Lies in the Body

Many people still believe that some women simply cannot have an orgasm. Others think that the female climax is fundamentally more complicated or even a matter of chance. Today, we know that these assumptions are not correct, but there are factors that can influence the sexual experience. Stress, lack of sleep, hormonal changes or health problems affect desire and can make it more difficult to reach orgasm.*⁵  The menstrual cycle also plays a role. Depending on the phase of the cycle, feelings of desire can sometimes change considerably. We explore this in more detail in our blog about hormones and the female cycle.

However, all these factors do not explain why the differences between women and men occur so consistently. Researchers therefore suspect that the cause lies elsewhere and that a decisive factor is a lack of education.

Although many people learn at school how reproduction works, the female body, the vulva, vagina or clitoris are often only discussed in passing. As a result, a large proportion of people grow up with an incomplete understanding of sexuality. In addition, male pleasure is discussed much more openly than female pleasure.*⁷ These differences often begin long before people have their first sexual experiences.

What Porn Has to Do with the Orgasm Gap

Films and social media also shape our understanding of sexuality. Mainstream porn in particular often shows the same sequence of events. The woman becomes aroused within a few seconds and penetration is enough for her to orgasm loudly. As soon as the man reaches climax, the scene ends. This often has very little to do with reality.*⁹

The clitoris hardly plays a role in many porn films, even though it is crucial to the orgasm of most women. Foreplay usually lasts only a few moments and communication practically does not take place. Anyone who grows up with these images can easily develop false expectations. The impression is created that the female orgasm “just happens” or is automatically triggered by penetration. There is also another factor: In many relationships, the male orgasm still unconsciously determines when sex ends. When the man reaches climax, lovemaking is often over. Even if his partner has not yet had an orgasm. This often does not happen out of malicious intent but rather reflects ideas that have been passed down through generations.

And this is precisely where the real story of the orgasm gap begins.

Where Does This Way of Thinking Actually Come From?

The fact that women orgasm less often during sex is not a new phenomenon. Many ideas that continue to influence our understanding of female pleasure today date back several centuries. For a long time, science showed little interest in the female orgasm. Sexuality was primarily viewed from one perspective: reproduction. What mattered was that the man got an erection and ejaculated. Whether the woman experienced pleasure or had an orgasm played only a minor role, if any.

This way of thinking persisted for centuries throughout medicine, research and society. Even Leonardo da Vinci’s anatomical drawings from the 15th century show how little was known about the female body. In his view, the clitoris played practically no role. He even assumed that the man’s sperm travelled from the brain through the spine into the penis and was then transferred into the woman’s body.*² Today, such assumptions seem almost absurd. But they show how many misunderstandings have shaped the history of sexuality.

Sigmund Freud later had a particularly strong influence. The founder of psychoanalysis was convinced that the clitoral orgasm was an immature form of female sexuality. For him, only the vaginal orgasm was considered a sign of a “mature” woman. Freud believed that women had to transition from clitoral to vaginal orgasm during the course of their development. If this vaginal orgasm did not occur, he reached a remarkable conclusion: The problem did not lie with the man or with sex itself, but with the woman.*⁸

With this theory, Freud placed generations of women under pressure. For decades, many believed that something was wrong with them if they could not experience an orgasm through penetration alone. Although these assumptions have long since been disproven, they persisted for a surprisingly long time. Freud’s ideas continued to be taught in psychology and medicine well into the 20th century.

The views of British gynaecologist Isaac Baker Brown in the 19th century were even more drastic. He was convinced that female masturbation caused mental illnesses such as hysteria or epilepsy. His “solution” was to surgically remove women’s clitorises.*² These examples illustrate how long female pleasure was misunderstood or even actively opposed. The subject was not simply under-researched. It was often viewed from a purely male perspective.

What We Know Today

Research has made enormous progress over the past few decades.

Today, there is no longer any doubt that the clitoris plays a central role in the orgasm of most women. Spanish gynaecologist Laia Valls Perez*³ points out that statements such as Freud’s have unnecessarily made many women feel insecure. Anyone who does not experience a purely vaginal orgasm during sex is therefore neither immature nor “wrongly developed.” Instead, we now know that the so-called vaginal orgasm is also closely connected to the clitoris. The visible outer part makes up only a small area of the entire organ. A large part of the clitoris is located inside the body and is indirectly stimulated during penetration.

For this reason, many experts today say that a vaginal orgasm is ultimately also a clitoral orgasm, merely triggered through different structures.

Above all, this shows one thing: Today, we know significantly more about the female orgasm than we did a hundred years ago. Nevertheless, there are still areas that have not yet been fully explained scientifically, and this is precisely why education is so important. The better people understand their own bodies, the easier it is to understand their needs and talk about them.

Hormones and Health Also Play a Role

In addition to social influences, there are of course also physical factors that can be decisive reasons why an orgasm does not occur. Stress is one of the most common reasons why desire decreases or an orgasm becomes more difficult to achieve. Anyone whose thoughts are still at work or who is constantly under pressure can often find it difficult to engage in intimacy.

Lack of sleep, hormonal changes, medication or certain illnesses also influence sexual sensation. In women, desire additionally changes over the course of the menstrual cycle. Some phases of the cycle are associated with greater sexual desire, while others are more likely to involve tiredness or reduced desire.

Can the Orgasm Gap Be Closed?

The good news is: Yes, it can theoretically be reduced considerably.

This does not require a miracle cure or complicated techniques. Being open about sexuality is much more important. Anyone who knows their own body, talks about their desires and takes their time creates the best conditions for fulfilling sex. A first step is to shift the focus away from the orgasm itself.

It is equally important to give the clitoris the attention it deserves. Since it plays a central role in orgasm for most women, its stimulation should naturally be part of lovemaking. There is no right or wrong way to do this. Some women prefer direct touch, others indirect stimulation or a combination of different techniques. A high-quality lubricant can make sex more pleasurable because it reduces friction and can therefore help sexual partners feel more comfortable and relaxed. Anyone who additionally wants more intense stimulation can use specially developed stimulation products, known as pleasure gels.

For women who want to focus on stimulating the clitoris, pjur WOMAN Lust can be an interesting addition. For women who want more intense stimulation of this area, pjur WOMAN Lust Intense is the ideal addition. The water-based pleasure gel creates a pleasantly tingling sensation within just a few seconds and can be used during partnered foreplay, with erotic toys and during sex.

However, the orgasm gap does not exclusively affect women. Many men today also report that they would like less pressure to perform and more pleasure. Increasingly, the focus is no longer on reaching orgasm as quickly as possible, but on the question of how intimacy can be experienced for longer and more intensely. Stimulation products such as pjur MAN Lust and desensitisation products such as the pjur superhero range can provide support and help couples focus more strongly on the shared experience.

Ultimately, there is no universal solution for a fulfilling sex life. Everyone experiences pleasure differently. This is precisely why it is worthwhile to remain curious and get to know your own body better.

Conclusion

The orgasm gap is not a law of nature.

It is the result of many factors that have developed over centuries. A lack of education, social gender roles and persistent myths have contributed to female pleasure remaining largely unexplored or not being openly discussed for a long time. Today, we know significantly more than we did just a few decades ago. The clitoris is not a side issue, but a central pleasure organ. Communication demonstrably improves sexual experience. At the same time, social awareness is growing for the fact that fulfilling sex means taking the needs of everyone involved seriously.

Of course, there are still questions to which research does not yet have clear answers. This applies, for example, to the many individual differences in orgasm, such as why some people climax through clitoral stimulation alone, while others additionally prefer vaginal or other forms of stimulation. Nevertheless, a great deal has changed in recent years. More and more people are talking openly about sexuality. Books, podcasts and scientific studies provide knowledge that was previously barely accessible. Sexual wellness products are also increasingly understood today as support for greater sexual wellbeing and are no longer considered a taboo subject.

Perhaps this is precisely the most important step towards reducing the orgasm gap in the long term: talking to each other and accepting that good sex does not follow a fixed script. Because ultimately, it is not about reaching climax as quickly as possible. It is about experiencing intimacy together and taking the needs of everyone involved seriously.

FAQ: Frequently Asked Questions About the Orgasm Gap

What Does “Orgasm Gap” Mean?

The orgasm gap describes the difference in how frequently men and women experience an orgasm during sex. Particularly in heterosexual relationships, men reach climax significantly more often than women. Depending on the study, research indicates a difference of around 30 percentage points or more.

Why Do Women Orgasm Less Often?

There is no single cause. A lack of education, social gender roles and unrealistic expectations play a role, as do insufficient communication or a lack of clitoral stimulation. Stress, hormones or health-related factors can also influence the sexual experience.*⁵

Is Penetration Alone Sufficient for Most Women?

No. For most women, penetration alone is not enough to reach orgasm. The clitoris plays a decisive role in the female climax and is often not sufficiently stimulated during sex.

Why Do Women in Homosexual Relationships Orgasm More Often?

Studies show that women in homosexual relationships experience an orgasm more frequently than women in heterosexual relationships. One possible reason is that both partners know the female body from their own experience and can often better assess which touches feel pleasurable. At the same time, open communication about desires and needs also plays an important role.

Can the Orgasm Gap Be Reduced?

Yes. Open conversations about desires and needs, sufficient time for foreplay and stimulation of the clitoris can help. Many couples also find lubricants or toys to be helpful additions when exploring new experiences together.

What Role Does Masturbation Play?

A major one. Anyone who knows their own body usually has a better understanding of which touches feel pleasurable. This knowledge can help them communicate their own desires during sex together. Studies also show that women experience an orgasm significantly more often during solo sex than during sex with a partner.

Do Hormones Influence Orgasm?

Yes. The menstrual cycle, hormonal changes, stress, lack of sleep or certain illnesses can influence desire and the ability to orgasm. You can learn more about this in our blog about hormones and the female cycle.

Can Lubricants or Toys Help?

Many people find lubricants and toys to be useful additions to their sex lives. A lubricant can make touch more pleasurable and reduce friction. Toys can create new sensations and help stimulate the clitoris in a targeted way. It is important to choose products that suit your own needs and preferences.

Is Something Wrong with Me If I Do Not Always Orgasm?

No. Everyone experiences sexuality differently. Not every sexual encounter ends with an orgasm – and that is completely normal. However, if the absence of an orgasm causes ongoing distress or raises questions, an open conversation with a partner and, if necessary, advice from a sex therapist can be helpful.

Sources:

• ¹McElroy, E. E. & Perry, S. L. (2024). The Gender Gap in Partnered Orgasm: A Scoping Review of Evidence with Graphical Comparisons. The Journal of Sex Research, 61(9), 1298–1315.
  
• ²ZDFheute – Orgasmus: Warum Frauen seltener zum Höhepunkt kommen (Terra X)
  
• ³DW Deutsch – Der weibliche Orgasmus: Wie viele Stufen bis zum Höhepunkt? | Sex & the Body
  
• ⁴Universität Bern / Journal of Sex Research
  The Orgasm Gap Among Heterosexual Singles: Findings From the Swiss Health Survey
  (Studie zur Orgasmushäufigkeit beim Solosex und Partnersex)
• ⁵PubMed Central (PMC)
  The Lifelong Orgasm Gap: Exploring Age’s Impact on Orgasm Rates
  
• ⁶Oxford Academic – Sexual Medicine Open Access
  A Reversed Orgasm Gap? Gender Differences in Orgasm Frequency During Heterosexual Partner Sex
  
• ⁷KevinMD
  The truth about the orgasm gap and how to bridge it
  
• ⁸Gerhard, J. (2000). Revisiting “The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm”: The Female Orgasm in American Sexual Thought and Second Wave Feminism. Feminist Studies, 26(2), 449–476.
  
• ⁹ Noble, D., DiFrancesco, D. & Zancani, D. (2014). Leonardo da Vinci and the Origin of Semen. Notes and Records: The Royal Society Journal of the History of Science, 68(4), 391–402.