7 Best Sex Positions for Seniors To Age Like Fine Wine

More candles on the birthday cake do not have to signify a sex slowdown; on the contrary, many of us now have empty nests and some of us are even retired, so there’s plenty of space and time for plenty of good sex. And even better, we know what we’re doing!

A National Poll on Healthy Aging conducted by the University of Michigan reported that over three-quarters of older adults (ages 65 to 80) affirmed that sex is an important part of a romantic relationship. However, less than half indicated that they were currently sexually active.

There may be a lot of reasons for this, but it is true that hormone levels dip after menopause in women. This can lead to a loss of libido, vaginal dryness, and even vaginal atrophy — none of which are conducive to a healthy, happy sex life. It is now understood that even though the symptoms are less dramatic and definitive, many men also experience a drop in testosterone. This is sometimes known as andropause.

The good news is that hormone replacement therapy may be able to address many of these symptoms. HRT needs to be prescribed and managed by a qualified health care provider. As of 2023, only 1.7% of menopausal women were prescribed HRT. 14% of men over 40 are taking or have taken supplemental testosterone.

We are a sex blog, not a sociology department, not healthcare providers, and definitely not your healthcare provider, so we’re going to stay in our lane and not speculate about the discrepancy in these numbers. However, we will drop links to two national telehealth services where women can schedule labs and talk with healthcare providers who are informed advocates for women’s health: Winona and Midi Health. Midi takes insurance (Winona does not, but you may be able to submit for out-of-network reimbursement) and has also curated a collection of supplements, including a prescription arousal cream that can truly be magic.

We think that generous portions of good-quality, body-friendly lube improve sex for most folks; it’s especially important when vulvas may not get quite as wet as we would like and/or penises don’t get quite as hard as we might like. Other special considerations around senior sex include joint pain, back pain, and limited mobility and flexibility. Sex positions are very much in our lane, and so we are going to suggest seven positions that are friendlier to mature bodies.

1. Missionary With Pillow

Missionary is a favorite of people of all ages because it is intimate and connected. It also doesn’t require any gymnastics and it’s fairly easy on the knees and back, especially when the receiving partner uses a firm cushion for support.

The pillow also tilts the pelvis upwards, which makes it easier for the penetrating partner to enter and provides a better angle for G-spot stimulation.

What We’re Doing

1. The receiving partner lies on their back on the bed with legs spread and knees slightly bent. The receiving partner, possibly with the help of the penetrating partner, places a firm cushion under their lower back for support.
2. The penetrating partner lies on top of the receiving partner, face to face and between their legs.
3. The receiving partner arches their back, and the penetrating partner uses their hand to guide their penis in.

2. Doggy Style With Pillow

Doggy, which is one of the most popular sex positions around the world, looks more demanding than it actually is. Yes, you’re on your knees, but on your knees on a comfortable mattress is a lot easier than on your knees in the garden. Once you’re in place, it’s not an especially strenuous position.

As above, good firm sex pillows can be our friends when we need a little extra support to get and stay comfortable during sex. Sex pillows are one of the few things where we (often) really do get what we pay for, and it is worth paying for good firm foam that does not compress under the weight of two grown adult bodies.

What We’re Doing

1. The receiving partner places a firm cushion on the bed and positions themself on their hands and knees, with the pillow supporting their hips and belly.
2. The penetrating partner kneels behind the receiving partner, between their legs. The penetrating partner can grasp the receiving partner’s hips for support.
3. The receiving partner arches their back, and the penetrating partner uses their hand to guide their penis in.

3. Spooning

Spooning is very comfortable for both partners and not very strenuous for either partner. Side-lying is often recommended for some types of back pain. Plus, gravity is relatively kind to us this way.

In this position, either partner can use their fingers or a small vibrator to stimulate the receiving partner’s clitoris.

What We’re Doing

1. The receiving partner lies on their side, knees bent and curled in a half-moon position. They can hold a firm cushion against their belly for support, which is especially helpful when pushing back against the penetrating partner.
2. The penetrating partner lies on their side behind the receiving partner, facing the same direction.
3. The receiving partner lifts their top leg (perhaps with help from the penetrating partner), and the penetrating partner uses their hand to guide their penis in.

4. Cowgirl

Cowgirl is a whole lot of fun for a whole lot of reasons, including the opportunity for deep penetration and G-spot stimulation because the receiving partner can control the angles. It’s also a good choice if the penetrating partner is the one with physical limitations, because all they have to do is lie back and enjoy the ride.

Pro tip: If the receiving partner needs more support, the penetrating partner can bend their knees and the receiving partner can lean back against them.

What We’re Doing

1. The penetrating partner lies on the bed with legs together or slightly spread.
2. The receiving partner straddles, squats, or kneels over the penetrating partner’s body.
3. The penetrating partner uses their hand to guide their penis in. Either partner can use their hands or a small sex toy to stimulate the receiving partner’s clitoris.

5. The Hot Seat

You might think that you’re too old for a lap dance, but your partner probably doesn’t! Put on your favorite music and have fun with it.

This seated sex position can actually offer quite a bit of support for those who need it. The penetrating partner can have their feet flat on the floor and their butt and back against the back of the seat, and that will allow them to use their body to support the receiving partner’s body. Like the cowgirl position, it puts little stress on the penetrating partner.

What We’re Doing

1. The penetrating partner sits in a chair with their legs together. Feet should be flat on the floor and back/bottom against the chair back.
2. The receiving partner straddles the penetrating partner’s legs (can face either direction –both have advantages!) and dances and grinds.
3. The penetrating partner uses their hand to guide their penis in.

6. Standing Sex

Like doggy-style, standing sex looks more demanding than it actually is if you do it right. Neither partner has to support the other partner’s weight, nobody has to bend their knees, and you can even leave your shoes on if you need stability (another great thing about sex at this big age is being comfortable with yourself and each other).

What We’re Doing

1. The receiving partner stands with legs shoulder-width apart. They can stand straight and lean against a wall or other stable surface, or they can bend over a table, counter, or other support that can bear the weight of two grown adults without slipping.
2. The penetrating partner stands behind the receiving partner, between their legs. The penetrating partner grasps the receiving partner’s hips for support.
3. The receiving partner arches their back, and the penetrating partner uses their hand to guide their penis in.

7. Sideways 69

Doing the 69 (mutual oral sex) sideways means that neither partner has to support their weight on their knees or hold the other partner’s body off their face enough to breathe. It’s a lot less demanding but no less fun!

It can take some maneuvering to get into position for the sideways 69, especially if there is a significant height difference between partners, but once you’re in place, you’re good to go without too much exertion. This is also a good position if the partner with a penis has any challenges around maintaining an erection, since it doesn’t require penetration and both partners can give and receive pleasure even without an erection.

What We’re Doing

1. Both partners lie on their sides, facing each other but arranged head-to-foot.
2. Partners perform oral sex on each other.

Maggie

Maggie Hart has written about sexual well-being and sexuality in society for quite a few years now. She is active in communities that celebrate sex for older adults.

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