How to Use a Butterfly Vibrator? PRO TIPS from a Sex Toy Tester!

Butterfly vibrators are sweet little treats that you can play with on your own or with a lucky partner. We’ve found our favorites, and we’re here to help you learn everything that you need to know to get the most out of these unique little toys. Read on to learn more about how you can get the most out of a butterfly vibrator, whether you’re playing on your own or with a partner. These recommendations come straight from our Ph.D. sexologist!

Butterfly Vibrators: The Basics

Butterfly vibrators are wearable vibrators that fit snugly against the vulva and clitoris. The “wings” of the vibrator resemble butterfly wings, hence the name. They can be held in place by an insertable shaft, elastic straps, or tightly fitted panties. Butterfly vibrators are designed to offer plenty of clit stimulation, and the wings may be textured for extra sensation. Toys with an insertable component may also have motors in the shaft.

Some of the premium products have a remote control or a proprietary app to control the toy. Not only does this make it easier to use discreetly in public if that’s your thing (because let’s face it, we really shouldn’t be walking around with our hands in our panties), but it means that we can turn the controls over to a partner — and with an app, the partner doesn’t even have to be in the same room. This is a great way for partners to stay connected when they are separated by distance!

1. Get Ready

As with any sex toy (or sex of any sort) session, you’ll want to ensure that you and your toy are ready to go. Be sure that your vibrator is fully charged and in good working order. You’ll also want to have plenty of good water-based lube available.

And it’s just as important for you yourself to be fully charged and in good working order. Take a few minutes to relax, breathe deeply, hydrate, and get in the right headspace for the fun that is going to follow. Put on whatever music moves you, and make sure that whatever you are (or are not) wearing is comfortable.

2. Get Set

There’s just a little bit of a learning curve when it comes to wearing and using a butterfly vibrator. It needs to be properly positioned for you to get the most out of it; here, “proper positioning” means that the wings fit securely over your vulva and at least one of the motors sits over the clitoris so that it can do what it’s meant to do.

Start by figuring out exactly how your device is meant to be worn. Many butterfly vibrators come with straps that go across your hips. You can either step into them like you would a pair of panties, or you can position the butterfly and then wrap the straps around yourself. Some butterfly vibrators have an insertable shaft that helps anchor the wings where they need to be. And others are meant to be held in place by tightly fitting panties — even if your butterfly is not meant to be a panty vibrator, you can use panties to help keep the butterfly secure.

Next, generously apply water-based lube to your body and your toy, especially if your butterfly vibrator has an internal component. Position the butterfly so that it feels comfortable and secure. Arrange the straps or panties to hold it in place. Be sure that you can easily access the control buttons, remote control, or app.

3. And GO!

Well, maybe not GO! right away. You’ve got your butterfly vibrator lubed up and locked down directly over very sensitive tissue, so it’s a good idea to start out on the slowest, gentlest settings. If you’ve turned the controls over to a partner, let them know that you’d like to ramp up as you are ready. Learn from one of our regular readers, who warns, “The first time I used my butterfly I turned it up to max power straight away and oh boy, that was a mistake! It was a bit too much too soon. Now I know—slow and steady wins the race.”

Once you’re comfortable, you can experiment with everything that your butterfly vibrator has to offer. Most products allow you to switch up the vibration patterns as well as the intensity levels. Some even have different controls for the wings and the shaft, if there is one. Feel free to take your time and figure out what works best for you.

This could also be a good time to let your partner take over — they can watch your reactions and adjust accordingly. If you think that you might like to wear your butterfly out in public, we recommend that you become thoroughly familiar with the controls and/or the app before trying this!

However, there is plenty of fun to be had with your butterfly vibrator in the privacy of your own home, with or without a partner. Once your butterfly vibe is in place and doing its thing, your hands are completely free to explore the rest of your body or your partner’s body. It can be super fun to give your partner oral sex or another kind of pleasure while you are also pleasuring yourself. Or you can ask your partner to blindfold you, and then just lie back and let the sensations overpower you.

Cleanup and Aftercare — For Both You and Your Butterfly Vibrator

Playing with a butterfly vibrator can be pretty intense, both physically and mentally. It’s normal to take some time to come down after that kind of an experience. You can power off your vibrator and leave it in place so that the wings hold you securely as you return to earth.

And as with all sex toys, your butterfly vibrator will need a bit of aftercare as well. A butterfly vibrator has a few more curves and crevices than a bullet or wand vibrator. If it is waterproof, and most are, clean it thoroughly with mild soap and water or a specialized sex toy cleaner.

After you have cleaned and let it dry completely, charge it back up so it is ready for the next session. Then you can put it away. It’s best to keep it in a soft fabric storage bag so that it stays clean and doesn’t get damaged, and so all the pieces (straps, panties, remote control, etc.) stay together.

Flight of the Butterfly

We think that a butterfly vibrator is a great addition to any adult toy box, and we hope that you do too! They are fun and exciting whether you are flying solo or with a partner, and they lend themselves to whatever amount of experimentation you are comfortable with – from hands-free exploration to giving your partner the controls and heading out to a dinner date.

Happy vibing!

Rachel

Rachel is a clinical sexologist with a focus on LGBTQ+ and BIPOC issues. Originally from Texas, she loves sushi, white wine, and spending time with her partner Jessica. She has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Yahoo.com, Women’s Health, Healthline, Glamour, and MindBodyGreen.
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