How To Have An Anal Orgasm?

If you’re interested in learning about anal orgasms (and why not, because more orgasms are always a good thing) we are going to explore the world of anal orgasms for all genders. Our experienced sex educator and product tester, Rachel Sommer, is here to explain the best ways to make this happen for you and/or your partner.

What Are Anal Orgasms?

As you may have guessed by the name, an anal orgasm is an orgasm triggered primarily by anal stimulation. It can happen through fingering, analingus (rimming), or penetration by a dildo, vibrator, or penis (or strap-on).

The anus is packed with sensitive nerve endings and offers access to the pudendal nerves, which convey sensory information to your genitals, perineum, and anal canal. People with vulvas may experience indirect stimulation of the G-spot or A-spot from anal penetration. People with prostates may be able to achieve prostate orgasms, since this little walnut-shaped gland is very sensitive and an integral part of the male sexual/reproductive system.

What Does an Anal Orgasm Feel Like?

We get asked this a lot and it’s not easy to answer, partly because every body is different and therefore orgasms a little differently, and also because it is very difficult to articulate exactly what anal sex or an anal orgasm feels like! However, it is fair to say that most people who are able to orgasm anally describe it as being an intense full-body experience. Anal orgasms are very rarely “quickies,” so the buildup contributes to the intensity.

Can Men Have Anal Orgasms?

Anyone with an anus, which is most of us, can have an anal orgasm! The truth is that people with prostates are very well-suited for anal orgasms since the prostate is extremely sensitive to stimulation. It has earned the nickname “P-spot” since it is analogous to the G-spot in people with vulvas.

The prostate is about the size and shape of a walnut. It is situated on the front wall of the rectum, between the bladder and the penis. Prostate orgasms are extremely intense, full-body experiences. They may or may not include ejaculation or erection. When prostate orgasms occur without ejaculation, there is little to no refractory period and multiple orgasms are possible.

How to Achieve an Orgasm From Anal Play

For most of us, there is a learning curve to anal orgasms. It takes time, practice, and patience to get ready for and comfortable with penetration from behind, and it can take even more to get to the point where you can climax from anal play. Read on to learn more about how to get started and get there!

1. Lube, Lube, Lube!

You need lube for anal play, no exceptions. The anus does not produce any natural lubrication and the tissues are thin and sensitive. While lube is essential for comfort, this is more than a comfort issue; any tears or abrasions have the potential to become infected, and considering what else the anus is used for, this is pretty high-risk.

• Water-based lube is generally considered the gold standard. It is body-friendly, compatible with all sex toys, and safe to use with latex condoms. However, water-based lube can feel thin and it can dry out quickly, so you should be prepared to reapply frequently.
• Oil-based lube or body-friendly food-grade oils are thicker than water-based lubes and they do not dry out as quickly, although they may absorb into the skin. Oil-based lubes should never be used with latex condoms (unless the condom is *only* for cleanup purposes) since they weaken the latex. We don’t recommend latex sex toys in general, but they are also incompatible with oil-based lubes.
• Silicone lube is delightfully slippery and condom-safe, but it cannot be used with silicone sex toys (and silicone is our preferred material for sex toys). It is also usually more expensive than other lubes, and considering that anal sex play can sometimes require quite a bit of lube, this can be a factor for some folks.

We do not recommend using any sort of numbing lube. We understand the thought process; if you numb your anus, penetration will be easier. This may be true, but it’s not necessarily a good thing. Your body’s pain receptors are an early warning system and turning them off is no more wise than turning off your smoke alarm, lighting a bunch of candles, and heading off to bed.

2. Start With a Finger

It’s a good idea to start out with a finger, either your own or your partner’s, since fingers are smaller, more flexible, and more sensitive than sex toys. Wash your hands first, because they will be going into your body. You can also wash your body.

Next, relax your body and your mind. This is easier said than done, but you can try a hot bath (which also helps relax your sphincter muscles). Set yourself up where you are comfortable, put on your favorite music, and indulge in adult content or your favorite fantasies.

Apply lube to your finger and to your body. Start by rubbing your finger around the entrance to your anus so that you can get used to the sensation. Then insert your finger slowly and gently. Focus on the feeling, and make a conscious effort to relax your sphincter muscle. You don’t have to go any further if you are not ready, but when you are, you can advance to the next step.

3. Upgrade to Sex Toys

Once you are comfortable with the idea and the reality of anal penetration with a finger, you may be ready to move on to anal toys. Be aware that toys are typically larger and less flexible than a finger. They are also less responsive, which means that you will need to be the one to call a halt if you feel resistance or discomfort.

A good first anal toy would be a set of anal beads, which are typically graduated with the smaller beads on the bottom and larger beads towards the top. You will obviously start with the smallest beads and add more as you feel ready. You can also start with a slender butt plug, and you may want to consider a “trainer” set of plugs that includes both very small plugs and larger ones that you can work up to.

4. Try Different Techniques

There is comfort in the familiar, so if you already know what you like, you should make sure to incorporate that into your anal play time. This could be a vibrator, a set of restraints, or anything else that typically gets you going.

But it’s also exciting to try new things, especially when the tried-and-true does not translate perfectly into a new setting (like anal play). If what you’re doing isn’t doing it for you, some anal stimulation techniques to try include:

• Come Hither: This is where you crook your finger and motion as if you were inviting someone to come closer. This technique is so well regarded that some high-end anal toys, like Lelo Hugo Wave 2 and Lovense Ridge, simulate it.
• Light Pressure: When you have found the spot that works for you, which is typically the prostate for folks who have one, apply continuous firm but gentle pressure.
• Circles: If pressure is too much for you (and that’s okay!), you can try circling the sweet spot lightly with your index finger, your partner’s finger, or a slim sex toy.

If none of these seem to get you close to an anal orgasm, consider a hybrid approach. Like we said in the first section, there are no prizes awarded for style here. The goal is feeling good, not being a purist. You can use your hand, a toy, and/or your partner to also stimulate your genitals and the rest of your body to bring you to orgasm while also continuing the anal play. This gets your body used to the feeling of orgasming during anal stimulation.

What Other Techniques Can I Try?

Different Anal Sex Positions

If you are exploring anal intercourse and aren’t able to orgasm, you can try switching up the positions. Just like with vaginal intercourse, different angles and depths of penetration can deliver startlingly different results. Some anal sex positions to try include:

• Lap Dance: The penetrating partner sits on a chair and the receiving partner straddles their lap, facing away. This lets the receiving partner grind on the penetrating partner and also control the angle, depth, and pace of penetration.
• Lying Doggy: This is generally comfortable for both partners and is a good position for beginners. The receiving partner lies on their stomach, and the penetrating partner lies on top, also on their stomach.
• Backdoor Missionary: This is a very intimate position and the familiarity may be comforting to folks who are new to anal intercourse. The receiving partner lies on their back with legs spread, and we recommend a firm pillow under the hips. The penetrating partner lies on top, face-to-face.

Using an Anal Vibrator

If you have not tried an anal vibrator, it may be the key to achieving an anal orgasm. Be sure to choose a product with a wide or flared base for safety and a rounded or tapered tip for comfort; we recommend using toys specifically designed for anal play.

Apply lube generously to the vibrator and to your body. Turn the vibrator on the lowest setting and tease the entrance around your anus to get your body used to the sensations. Then ease it inside. Once you feel comfortable, you can start playing with the settings to find exactly what works for you.

Happy vibing!

Rachel

Rachel is one of our most experienced product testers. Originally from Texas, she loves sushi, white wine, and spending time with her partner Jessica. She has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Yahoo.com, Women’s Health, Healthline, Glamour, and MindBodyGreen.

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