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Fifty Shades of Grey Bound to You Flogger Review
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The sheer number of whips, chains, and impact toys available can overwhelm even experienced BDSM players. You have to consider what a product does, who made it, its construction, where to buy it—the list feels endless.
Fortunately, I can help. As an experienced member of the BDSM community and a sex toy reviewer for over thirty years, I’ll review the Fifty Shades of Grey Bound to You Faux Leather Small Flogger to see if it’s worth your attention—or deserves to be ignored.
Key Takeaways
Of all the BDSM-related product reviews I’ve done, I can count on the fingers of one hand the ones I’ve given a two—let alone a single—star review. Enter The Fifty Shades of Grey Bound to You Faux Leather Small Flogger, which not only garnered that dubious honor, but if I could, I would have granted it a much more accurate zero.
This product is poorly made, largely ineffective, and associated with an author who has perpetuated misleading and potentially harmful information regarding BDSM and kink practices. It is not recommended for purchase.
You Can Buy It on the Lovehoney website for $24.99. Use discount code AFF-MSTG10 for 10% off!
What is a Fifty Shades of Grey Bound to You Flogger?
Fifty Shades of Grey Bound to You Faux Leather Small Flogger is a very small flogger. Though advertised as “leather,” it’s actually made of PU, that is, polyurethane, wood, and a brass-like single brad holding it together. Its falls are so extremely short, narrow, and thin that it is nearly impossible to use it as you would a longer, thicker, wider, far better-made model.
First Impressions and Features
Unboxing
This flogger is, in my opinion, unnecessarily overpackaged. As you can see in the image below, it comes in a branded “Fifty Shades of Grey” paper envelope containing not just the product but another “Fifty Shades of Grey” stamped black, satin-like bag. Also included was a pair of product identification cards connected via a similarly black cord. Regarding those cards, the print on both—aside from a few rare instances—is extremely small, making them absolutely impossible to read. Raising the question, why bother with them at all unless it’s to, yet again, promote the Fifty Shades brand?
Specifications
How does the Fifty Shades of Grey Bound to You Faux Leather Small Flogger measure up?
- Material: Metal, Polyurethane, Wood
- Measurements: It Is Eleven And A Half Inches Long, Including Its Assorted Seven And A Half Inch Falls. The Lovehoney Site Doesn’t Say How Many Falls It Has, But I’ve Estimated Around A Couple Of Dozen. Each Fall Is Shy Of A Quarter Inch Wide And A Sixteenth Of An Inch Thick. The Wooden-Cored Handle Is 4 1/4 Inches Long And Slightly Over 3/4 Inch In Diameter.
- Color: Black And Brass
- Mechanism: Similar To Better-Made, More Professionally Made Impact Play Toys, The Fifty Shades Of Grey Bound To You Faux Leather Small Flogger Is Intended To Be Swung So Its Falls Land On The Receiving Person’s Body. However, Its Falls Are Far Too Thin, Short, And Narrow, Resulting In A Toy That’s Essentially Useless For Anything Except As A Pointless Prop.
How to Use the Fifty Shades of Grey Bound to You Flogger?
As I just stated, the Fifty Shades of Grey Bound to You Faux Leather Small Flogger is so infuriatingly shoddy and ill-thought-out that it can’t be used for any sort of impact play. I don’t say that lightly, as I’ve used and enjoyed floggers that are pretty much the same size and weight. It’s that this one’s falls are way too stiff, so however hard I tried, I couldn’t get them to do anything but stay bunched up. A situation made even worse by the manufacturer, apparently not bothering to cut the falls correctly, leaving many still attached to one another.
My Personal Experience
Let me put my cards on the table, as a decades-long member of the BDSM community and practically as much time authoring reviews like this one in addition to teaching classes on nearly every aspect of kink play, I despise everything E. L. James has written, especially Fifty Shades of Grey.
This is not the place to go into details; however, it should be noted that her work is not only inaccurate in its portrayal of the kink community, but her depictions of bondage, impact play, and related practices are so erroneous that attempting to replicate them could be dangerous. In summary, E. L. James and all associated work should be avoided entirely.
That out of the way, what about the Fifty Shades of Grey Bound to You Flogger and not its branding? Lemmie put it this way: out of all the hundreds, if not thousands, of toys I’ve played with, I have no problem saying it’s probably the worst I’ve ever encountered.
Where to start? For one thing, it’s so badly made it’s not even worth its $9.99 price tag, like how it’s totally inexcusable to make, not to mention sell, a flogger whose falls haven’t even been cut correctly. Plus, their faux leather is so cheap and inflexible that, however hard I tried, it would not come apart.
Design
This flogger might seem like it should have a lot in common with other, much more well-made impact toys of its type. But looks can be deceiving, as it’s a joke when compared to other floggers—extra so when you consider it’s supposedly part of a branded collection and not a cheap, disposable sort of toy.
Material
The Fifty Shades of Grey Bound to You Faux Leather Small Flogger is primarily made of faux leather polyurethane, with a wood handle and a single brass-like grommet.
Build Quality and Dimensions
The Fifty Shades of Grey Bound to You Faux Leather Small Flogger is, without a doubt, an inexcusably badly made product. From its falls when it arrived stuck together—as in not cut completely through—to how they are so stiff and non-pliant, it acts more like … well, anything but how a real, high-quality one should. On second thought, it couldn’t hope to come close to being anywhere close to even a second or third-rate flogger.
Ease of Use
I don’t say this lightly, but the Fifty Shades of Grey Bound to You Flogger is practically unusable. Unless that is, as I said earlier, as a prop or a gag gift. Believe me, I put in no small amount of effort attempting to play with this one, only to end up time and time again wondering who, in their right mind, thought this was worth selling—even for less than ten bucks?
Versatility
Naturally, failing to find any way to pleasurably use my The Fifty Shades of Grey Bound to You Flogger, I can’t say it’s anywhere near being what I’d call a versatile product. What makes this extra frustrating is that I have a couple of floggers which are nearly the same size but of far superior quality, and are great to use in all kinds of arousing ways. For instance, ones with short but soft falls can be super-fun for gentle thigh impacts, as well as genital play scenes.
Not suggesting this product for those sorts of activities, just that if it were a truly good toy, those are just a couple of potentially enjoyable options.
Warranty and Support
If anything bought from Lovehoney is defective, you have a year to return it for a possible refund or exchange. The same is true for unwanted or unneeded toys, unless they are in their original, unopened packages.
Minor Issues I Found During Testing
I don’t have any minor issues with the The Fifty Shades of Grey Bound to You Faux Leather Small Flogger, but I DO have so many major ones it’s tough to know where to begin. I already mentioned its dreadfully poor construction, producing what I can only describe as a completely useless toy.
Not necessarily reflecting its shoddy build quality, I also feel linking it to Fifty Shades of Grey may possibly encourage inexperienced yet curious people into thinking this is what real BDSM toys are, and should be, like.
Review Summary
Pros
- Less than ten dollars.
- It might make an ironic present for your kink community friends.
- It could be a not great but maybe good cat toy.
Cons
- Not even worth its $9.99 price tag.
- Construction is decidedly sub-par.
- Made from inappropriately chosen, low-grade materials.
Alternatives to a Fifty Shades of Grey Bound to You Flogger?
Bondage Boutique Advanced Extra Long Suede Flogger
Now here’s an absolutely fantastic option for all sorts of different impact play activities! Also available from Lovehoney, this lusciously sensual, totally natural flogger has the perfect number of ideally long falls to deliver more-than-satisfying intimate sensations. While perhaps not as great for intense scenes, it’s more than adequate for when you want to focus on a specific area of the person’s posterior.
I also appreciate how comfortable it is to wield, which, as anyone familiar with how impact play sometimes requires extended, rhythmic swings, will definitely appreciate. Do yourself and those you play with a big favor and get hold of this lovely little toy, as everyone is practically guaranteed to have an arousingly good time.
Saffron Flogger
When it comes to toys that look as wonderful as they feel, look no further than this magnificently sensual and drop-dead gorgeous two-tone flogger from the kink masters over at The Stockroom. With thirty, seventeen-inch long falls—fifteen red and fifteen in classic, BDSM black, it’s sure to turn heads as often as it gives backsides a nice, red-red glow!
Not only that, but at just $29.99, you get something that does nearly everything extremely well. Whether it’s warming someone up before more intense play or cooling them down afterward, the Sportsheets Saffron Flogger is a must-have, must-use, and must-appreciate toy!
Do you want more options? We have tested many more BDSM floggers in this article.
I’m sold! Where Can I Buy It?
Grab this impact sex toy right here.
Thanks for reading my Fifty Shades of Grey Bound to You Flogger review!
M.Christian
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