Why Sex Toy Marketing Misses the Mark — And How to Fix It

With so many products out there, it’s hard to know exactly which one is right for you. But this difficulty is compounded when it comes to sex toys.

For example, a person who has no problem sharing how many cups of coffee they make a week on their coffee maker would likely balk at the idea of sharing how many times a week they use their favorite sex toy, making it harder to find reviews from people who are similar to you.

However, companies themselves are more than happy to proudly announce exactly who their different sex toys are for. Whether these designations are always correct is debatable (what does make a good beginner’s toy? Is the idea of His/Hers toys outdated?), it can be helpful in connecting people with products that are just right for them.

Toys Made By and For Particular Groups

The Whisperer by Smile Makers Collection is marketed as being perfect for new moms. And for good reason, since it was designed as part of a collaboration with Mumsnet. This is the type of thing I would love to see companies do in the future: reach out to “normal” people for help with designs that genuinely suit their unique needs.

While I always try to think of what type of person would enjoy a particular toy I’m reviewing, “new mom” isn’t a category that comes to mind, since I simply don’t know what being a new mom is like.

Knowing that a product was designed by people who share similarities with you can take out a lot of the guesswork when it comes to selecting a toy. Even if you read reviews (either on the product site or our own site), you don’t know what the person reviewing it is like (are they cis? Able-bodied? Older than you? Younger than you?).

So, while The Whisperer won’t appeal to every new mom on the planet, it would be a good jumping-off point for a new mom trying to find a new toy.

Building Brand Image

Cute Little Fuckers markets themselves as being the most queer-friendly toy company, and it’s safe to assume that’s a very lucrative market. And that does make sense. Someone who’s openly and proudly queer is probably more likely to be sex-positive and also will want to support a company that explicitly supports them. So, Cute Little Fuckers leans into that destination with their outrageously adorable toy designs:

We also have Kiiroo, which sells couples’ sets that can be used by any type of couple, and has categories labeled Him/Her, Her/Her, and Him/Him. However, their overall aesthetic is more sci-fi and less camp than Cute Little Fuckers.

So, while they certainly deserve the label of queer-friendly, the phrase “pride-tastic” would seem a bit out of place if they used it to describe one of their products, whereas it seems perfectly fitting on the CLF website.

Beginner Unfriendly

So many sex toys are marketed towards beginners, and it’s something I complain about a lot. So, here I go again! I’ll try to keep it brief, but essentially, it seems like a lot of companies market products as being beginner-friendly when they’re really just inexpensive and have a basic interface.

If we were talking about speakers or cameras, I’d agree that those things make something a good choice for a beginner. But for sex toys? Not so much. I’d be much more inclined to recommend something luxurious as well as highly customizable.

“Because unlike with a camera, using the wrong settings on a sex toy could be actively painful.
”

If this is someone’s first time experimenting with external and especially internal pleasure, the sensations need to be as adjustable as possible, so that the person can make the experience as gentle as they need it to be, while being able to bring the intensity up a notch (or multiple notches) as they get more used to it.

I can understand that marketing something to a beginner is more tempting than marketing something to a person who already has an extensive collection. But companies could be a little more mindful about who they’re marketing towards.

…And Another Thing

I also see a lot of toys marketed as being great for travel. And most of the time, it makes no sense.

First of all, how many people travel often enough to need a dedicated travel toy? And second of all, even the largest wand toys aren’t that big, and most toys certainly don’t weigh very much.

The one time I have traveled with a sex toy, it was with the Womanizer Next, which probably wouldn’t be strictly considered a “travel toy” due to its size. And believe me, I overpack, so if there was room for it in my stuffed suitcase, there could be room for it in yours.

If you want a sexy vacation with a partner, I would think the goal would be to prioritize toys intended for long, luxurious sessions, which is not what I think of when I hear the phrase “travel toy”. And if you’re vacationing in a non-romantic way, I’d think that the museums, shopping, and food would make you too tired and/or full to be particularly in the mood for a self-care session.

Really, if you’re going on a business trip and need to unwind afterwards, packing a slightly larger toy you already own will be enough. Also, a friendly statement to sex toy companies: don’t call something a travel toy if you’re not going to include a bag.

What I’d Like to See

Personally, I’d like to see brands be a little more creative in terms of who they market towards. Smile Makers Collection’s marketing to new moms is a brilliant move on their part, and I think more companies should follow suit.

On our website, there’s a “Who Should Buy It” section on all of our reviews, and we always try to be mindful of who would benefit the most from our toys. But it’s hard to put ourselves in the mindset of people of different demographics.

As an AFAB woman with no children, I don’t know which toys would be best for people with bottom growth or for new moms. So it would be great if large companies could collaborate with specific groups to figure out what different kinds of people want in their sex toys.

For example, Step, the founder of Cute Little Fuckers, had to give up their previous jobs after they began suffering from a neurological disease. So, they strive to make every product accessible, as well as queer-friendly.

Toys that like CLF’s Morrie (the aforementioned Pride-tastic toy) are great because they can be used by anyone and everyone. Cute Little Fuckers also gets very specific with helping people find their perfect toy—they have sets specifically designed for people with bottom growth and a set designed to be as accessible as possible.

“I imagine that in the future, more toys will be designed for nonbinary people.
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At the moment, most toy companies divide their toys into “His/Hers” categories. While this binary makes sense to some degree, not everyone falls neatly into these categories. Plenty of people with He/Him/His pronouns don’t have penises and wouldn’t want the vast majority of toys in the “His” category of your average toy website.

I would love to see more companies follow design toys with different groups in mind. Toys for older people, trans people, obese people, people with vaginismus, people with body dysmorphia, people with trauma, people who live with their parents and don’t want to wake them up, people who live with roommates, people with disabilities…you get the idea.

It’s hard to think of a demographic that wouldn’t benefit in some way from having a dedicated selection of sex toys. So perhaps the His/Hers sections are due for a bit of an update.

Happy vibing!

Becky

Becky V is a Los Angeles native who loves indie bookstores, Broadway musicals, and a good cup of tea. She is passionate about sexual wellness and wants to make the world a better place one orgasm at a time!