Fact or Fiction: Do Anal Toys Permanently Stretch Your Butt?

Some say that anal play is the last taboo; we’re not sure about that, but we do know that there is a lot of bad information out there, as well as a lack of good information about how to safely engage in butt stuff. Read on to learn more about what works and what doesn’t, and how you can incorporate this kind of play in your own solo or partnered sex life.

The Anatomy of It All

Let’s start with some body basics. The human rectum is generally pretty tough and also pretty stretchy. It typically expands to about 3.5 cm in diameter during defecation. Medical professionals report that most anuses can safely accommodate objects up to 5 cm in diameter, and with proper stretching and training, 7.5 cm is likely to be the top end where safety is concerned.

Mathing this out, a good starting point for anal toys would be about 4.33” in circumference (3.5 cm diameter, c=πd, 3.5×3.14=10.99, 10.99/2.54=4.33), the top end without training would be about 6.18” in circumference (5 cm diameter), and anything above 9.27” (7.5 cm diameter) is really not a good idea for anyone.

The crucial thing to remember, though, is that the rectum is a tube constructed of layers of muscle. As such, it can stretch, and more importantly, it will return to its original size and shape under most circumstances.

Training, Temporary Stretching, and Permanent Stretching

Above, we wrote that the “top end without training” is just above 6” in circumference. What do we mean by training? Well, we also said that the human rectum is a muscular tube. Muscles that are gently and gradually stretched over time acquire the capability to stretch further AND still return to their original shape and size (gymnasts can do splits but then they return to a normal standing stance).

It is true that people who use very large anal toys for extended periods of time (we’re talking hours at a time here) may condition their rectal muscles into a more relaxed state. However, it is not likely to be an impactful difference as long as we follow safe practices, listen to our bodies’ signals, and don’t force anything.

Common Myths Debunked

We will address some common myths around anal play and anal toys, including the one that you’re probably most wanting an answer to but don’t want to ask anyone.

Myth 1: Anal play will make you lose control of your bowels.

This is what most people are worried about! Remember that the rectum and sphincter are muscular and resilient. Fecal incontinence is highly unlikely unless the muscles are actually torn or damaged, and that will not happen through occasional anal play with good safety practices and adequate prep.

If you are interested in playing this way more than occasionally and more than moderately, you’ll probably have to do more prep, but like any other muscles in the human body, training and stretching before a “workout” will make a huge difference.

It should go without saying but we’ll say it anyhow: if you are experiencing issues with bowel control, please see your healthcare provider sooner rather than later. If you’ve just been a bit overenthusiastic with a new toy, they’ve seen and heard it all before. But there could be serious health stuff happening and we want you to take care of yourself.

Myth 2: You’ll need to keep using bigger and bigger toys to feel anything.

No, not really. Think about it; people with vaginas don’t need to keep looking for bigger and bigger penises to feel anything. Muscles (and both the rectum and vagina are muscular structures) stretch, but then they contract and return to their normal tightness.

Your body may not feel the initial stretch quite the same way as the first time, but you will almost certainly continue to feel the fullness. But also, there’s really nothing wrong with wanting to upsize because you want to feel that initial stretch. Anal toys come in different sizes for good reasons!

Myth 3: Anal toys are only for certain types of people.

Technically, this one is true. Anal toys are for people with anuses. However, this is most of us! Bad jokes aside, it’s untrue and ignorant to think that certain types of sex toys or sex play are only for “certain types” of people. There should be no shame or stereotypes around exploring our own bodies and our partners’ bodies in whatever way feels best in the moment.

Pro Tips From a Professional Sex Toy Tester!

Anal play and anal toys are very safe when used properly, but yes, there is a bit of a learning curve to do this right.

Pick your toys thoughtfully. A wide or flared base is an absolute necessity. Even if you think that you’re being careful, a product without a flared base can get sucked into the anus (orgasm contractions can be very powerful!), and if the muscles contract around it, you may need medical help to remove it. This can be expensive, inconvenient, and uncomfortable. On the other end, a rounded or tapered tip can make insertion easier.

Size matters. It’s always a good idea to start with a small size and work your way up as you feel comfortable. Lots of butt plugs come in graduated sets so that you can do just this.

Use lots of lube. We recommend using good-quality lube with any and all sex toys, but especially with anal toys. The anus does not produce any natural lubrication, so you will need to supply it. Water-based lube is compatible with all sex toys (and with condoms, if those are part of your partnered sex), but some people prefer silicone- or oil-based lubes for anal play since they are thicker and do not dry out as quickly. If you do choose anything but water-based lube, be sure to check that it is safe to use with your particular material.

Clean and care for your toys well. You should always clean sex toys thoroughly after each use, but this is especially important for anal toys since they are both used internally and exposed to contaminants. If your product is waterproof, wash it with warm water and mild fragrance-free soap or specialized sex toy cleaner. If it is not waterproof, check the user manual or manufacturer’s website for care instructions. Then make sure that it is completely dry before storing it away in a soft fabric storage bag.

Listen to your body. This goes for any kind of sex play! Learn to discern between “this feels different” and “this feels wrong,” and honor the second immediately! There is no reason to push through if you are feeling discomfort or even pain; this is your body’s way of alerting you to slow down or stop. Respecting your body’s limits keeps you safe and keeps sex fun.

Happy vibing!

Sandra

Sandra Larson founded My Sex Toy Guide in 2016 with her husband, Tim. She has been instrumental in building our website into one of the largest sexual wellness sites on the Internet, and she has tested well over 100 products over the years.
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